A FEAR OF LOVE

Author: AlwaysLoveJohnnyDepp
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: You/Mort
Categories: Romance, Drama

Disclaimer: I don't own Secret Window or any of the characters.

Summary: You are a detective and you have to watch out for Mr. Rainey. You pretend to be his new neighbour and see if he's really a killer or not. But what happens when you start to fall for this guy? Will you tell him your secret and will he fall for you as well, or will you just get killed?

* * * * *

CHAPTER 1

You sit by your desk at work and start reading the ending to the book called “Secret Window.” You pay such a close attention to the writing that you don’t even hear your boss/ex boyfriend call you. Mort Rainey is your favorite author. You even went to one of his book signings once but you don’t think he remembers you. You finished the ending and sighed.

“That was a good new ending,” you said. You went back to your solitaire game. You are 25 years old and you are a detective. You work for your ex boyfriend, Nathan. You used to be a boyfriend and a girlfriend for a while but you saw him on the couch with your best friend making out.

“(You) earth to (You),” he waved his hand in your face.

“What? Oh sorry I was just having… memories, what do you need?” you asked.

“Delaney has another assignment for you,” said Nathan. You went and put your book down. You really weren’t in the mood for another assignment. The last time you had to work with a jerk. You went into Delaney’s office. Delaney is your friend you’ve been working with her for two years now. And you’ve been a detective for four years.

“(You) have you heard of Mort Rainey?” asked Delaney.

“Yes, he’s my favorite author. Why?” Delaney looked through Mort’s file and she sighed.

“Because I heard he killed his ex wife and her fiancé. We don’t know for sure but that’s why we need to detect on it,” said Delaney.

“I don’t know I really don’t think he’s a killer,” you explained. Nathan looked at you weird and smirked.

“Are you insane? I heard this guy is a freak and that he only writes horror books,” said Nathan. This really got you on your nerves.

“No he doesn’t, he writes some good books!” you shouted.

“Oh yeah? Name one?” Nathan said. Again you got annoyed.

“Well he did write that children’s-“

“People!! Shut up!! God just because you two aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean you fight in my office!!” shouted Delaney.

“Sorry,” you said.

“Ok (You), here is the directions to Mr. Rainey’s house and you will be living next door to him in Tashmore Lake and you will have a fake name you for a couple of months it will be Lilly. Nathan will be watching your every move,” said Delaney. You rolled your eyes and sighed in frustration.

“Gee, that makes me feel safe.” She gave you the directions to Tashmore Lake and you went out side to your care.

“Where are you going?” asked Nathan.

“I’m going to pack, we’re moving to Tashmore Lake until we solve this, right?” you asked.

“All right, but I drive,” said Nathan.

“No, I drive, it’s my car idiot,” you said.

“Fine, but I at least sit in the front seat,” said Nathan.

“Fine with me,” you snapped.

* * * * *

You started unpacking your suitcase and looked out the window over to Mort’s house.

“I wonder why Mr. Rainey isn’t here yet?” you asked.

“You really want to meet this guy huh?” asked Nathan.

“Yeah but don’t worry, I won’t act like those fan girls who go (mimic fan girls) Oh my god, it’s Mort Rainey I can’t believe it,” You fall on the couch and sigh. Nathan starts to crack up and you giggle.

“I miss this,” said Nathan.

“Me too,” you said, sadly. You miss your times with Nathan he would always make you laugh and he would always tell you how much he loved you.

“(You) what happened between…?”

“Between what?”

“You know between us,” you sighed, he always asks you that question.

“You know what happened Nathan, you were shacking up my best friend,” you looked out the window again.

“(You) I’m telling you she kissed me.” You snorted at that.

“Oh yeah well you were putting up a good fight,” you said sarcastically.

“(You) I pushed her off after you ran out and I told her that I never wanted to see her again, that she meant nothing to me. You’ve got to believe me, I want to start over… please.”

You started to cry and you turned to face him. “I want to start over too Nathan but I can’t stop picturing you with her. I even have nightmares about it, it’s too painful what you did, it just is.”

Nathan sighed. He was hurt by your words. He’s the one who made you have nightmares at night? He’s the one who made you afraid of love?

“I have a fear of love now Nathan, every time a guy asks me out I turn them down because-because I don’t want to get hurt again, I just don’t,” you sobbed.

“I’m sorry (You) is there anyway I can have your trust back?” You shook your head.

“It’s going to take a long time to gain all your trust back Nathan,” you said sternly.

“(You) come on it’s been two years since that happened,” Nathan stared at you. Then he went up to you and kissed the tears away. You pushed him off of you.

“Don’t kiss me Nathan, just don’t!!” you yelled. Mort pulled up to his house with a bag full of groceries. He heard you yell and was worried something was wrong. He shrugged it off and went inside.

“Well at least I don’t just sit around and wait for my sister to get killed by her husband!” he yelled. You stared at him with hurtful eyes and your cheeks were getting red from crying. Your sister is in an abusive marriage you tried to tell her to call the police but she keeps tell you that she loves him. You love your little sister very much and every time someone brings up her husband you feel like crying.

“That was low Nathan, even for someone like you!” you yelled.

“(You) I’m-“

“No! You know I love my sister, I tried to tell her to get out of the marriage but she keeps going onto another subject.” Nathan comes up to you and hugs you but you push him away.

“Ok I’ll leave.” Nathan leaves and you sit on the couch, sulking. Later you decided to take a bubble bath with candles around the tub and play soft music. You loved doing that it always soothed you after a hard day. Your cat Smokey is next to the tub licking herself. (Haha)

“Oh that’s nice Smokey, do that in the other room!” you said when you pushed her away.

7 hours later:

It is now 9:00 at night and you are eating dinner. Your cat Smokey is outside looking for a mouse she thought she saw. All of a sudden you heard a click like a gun sound. You got your gun out of the kitchen and look outside. You saw nothing; maybe it was your imagination. After dinner you went to sleep. Yep it just dawned on you being alone isn’t fun.

* * * * *

You went got up the next morning at 6:30. You’re used to getting up in the morning because you don’t want to waste your day by sleeping. And plus Delainy made you get up early. As you were making breakfast you check your messages.

“Hey (You) it’s Heather what’s up? I was wondering if you wanted to go see the new Charlie and The Chocolate Factory I heard it was really funny anyways give me a call (Beep)” Heather is one of your best friends but she lives in L.A she wants to become a writer and get her novel published. Another message was played.

“(You) hi it’s Nathan………um I just wanted to say sorry for saying that yesterday I know you love your baby sister very much and I’m sorry for saying that I shouldn’t of… listen maybe we could get some coffee and talk about this, please give me a call you know my new number anyway bye! (Beep)” that was unbelievable after what he said last night he expects you to go out with him? Please, you’d rather die! You went to your bathroom and took a shower and you brushed your teeth and put on a tank top and some faded out shorts. It was pretty hot outside today. You took a jog into the woods. Once you did a dog jumped on you and started licking your face.

“Ah get off!!” you yelled. Then you heard someone come up to you.

“Chico down now! Sorry about that it looks like he likes you,” said the man. You looked up and saw Mort Rainey look down on you.

“Um hi listen I don’t mean to rude but I don’t really like dogs so can you get him of me?” you asked. Mort pulled Chico’s collar to make him come off of you. He helped you up and you sighed.

“I’m really sorry about that,” he said.

“Oh that’s ok what’s his name again?” you asked and you petted the dog.

“Chico the second.” he said. You looked at him weirdly and he smiled.

“Yeah corny I know.” he said.

“So where’s the first one?”

“What?” he asked, looking confused.

“Well you said this is the second one where’s the first one?” You couldn’t believe you standing next to the serial killer you were a little scared not knowing what he could do but luckily you had your gun in your back pocket.

“Oh he died of… cancer,” he lied.

Mort’s POV:

“So how do you like the town?” I asked. She looked a little nervous maybe she knows what Shooter did to Amy and Ted. But she just moved here she couldn’t have known.

Your POV:

You looked at Mort and then at the dog. You wanted so badly to arrest this freak.

“So how do you like the town?”

“Oh it’s very pretty here, I like it.”

“So what’s your name?” asked Mort.

“Oh my name is Lilly,” you said. Yay you remembered your fake name.

“Pretty name. Well, I should get going I’m a little hungry… hey would you like to stay for dinner?” he asked. You thought for a minute, should you go into this guy’s house? Well it would be a good opportunity to look for clues. But Nathan has to be in the house with you. You have an idea. You nodded your head and he led you inside.

“Sorry the place is a mess.” said Mort. You looked around and saw exercising machines.

“That’s ok mine is a mess too since I just moved in,” you said.

“Do you want something to drink? I’ve got Mountain Dew, um Pepsi, milk, apple juice and water.”

“Apple juice is fine.”

“Ok let me get that-oh crap!”

“Is something wrong?” Mort looked in the fridge and he didn’t have any Mountain Dew or turkey meat for lunch.

“I don’t have the right stuff I need for lunch. I’ll go to the store, I’ll be right back um make your self at home and I’ll be back n’k?”

“Ok take your time,” you said. Mort smiled and got his keys and left. This is perfect you’ll call Nathan and you two will look for the stuff you need. But you’re still mad at Nathan for what he said yesterday you don’t really want to call him. But this is your job you have to call him or you’ll get fired and Delaney is your best friend and would hate to fire you. You called Nathan’s number and he answered the phone.

“Nathan?”

“(You) thank god listen I just wanted to say that-“

“Yeah, forget the apology crap, listen I’m in the guy’s house,” you said almost in a panic now afraid and thinking that you should not have agreed to stay for lunch.

“Your what?!” yelled Nathan. “(You) get out of there it’s dangerous you could get killed with a screw driver!” Ok why did he mention what you could get killed with? He’s such a dork sometimes.

“Don’t worry, I have my gun. Listen, come over here with me so we can look for the stuff we need to see if this guy is innocent or not,” you said.

“Ok I’ll be there.” You hung up the cell phone and started walking around the house. You went into his room you were sure this was his room. You looked on the night stand and saw an envelope. You picked it up. Darn it was sealed if you opened it then he would know. You put your gloves on and slowly started to open it. You’ll just find a new envelope and put the stuff in it. You opened it and got the stuff out. It was just a story he was submitting you read the title it read:

Nothing More

You set put the story back in a new envelope and looked at something else. Then you heard somebody bang on the front door. It made you jump but you went down stairs and answered it. It was Nathan.

“You scared me,” you said.

“Sorry. Did you find anything?”

“No, you know I think this guy is innocent, I mean he is an author.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, they always make it seem like they’re normal but there not. Do you know why?”

“No, tell me,” you said sarcastically.

“They’re lying.”

“Oh gee Nathan, I would’ve never have known that!” you said again sarcastically. Nathan always tries to be Mr. Smarty pants, he always tries to be proven right. You two were always competitive.

2 years earlier:

“Oh shut up!” yelled Natalie.

Those were the happy times, those were the times when you didn’t know Natalie was being abused and you didn’t worry about her too much. That’s when Nathan didn’t cheat on you. You were back in Mort’s room then suddenly when you and Nathan were looking around you heard the door open.

“Holy crap he’s here,” you whispered.

“What are we going to do?” asked Nathan.

“Quick, hide under the bed,” you said as you pushed Nathan under the bed.

“Ow that hurt,” he said.

“Shut up he’s coming. I’m going downstairs!” You went downstairs and quickly sat on the couch before Mort came in.

“Hi, did you get the stuff you needed?” you asked. Mort looked weirdly at you.

“Yeah, uh, I thought I heard another man in the house,” said Mort.

“There’s nobody here except me and you,” you smiled.

“Ok sure,” Mort started making lunch and you saw Nathan crawl down the stairs. You mouthed:

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m going to the door.’ He mouthed back. You nodded and decided to stall Mort. Nathan was so close to Mort, Mort could easily turn around and see him. You went into the kitchen and Mort was about to turn around.

“You know Mort, let’s eat outside I’m sure it will be lovely,” you said.

“I’d rather not,” said Mort. You turned Mort around so that he’s facing the sink. Nathan tiptoed to the door and slowly opened it and closed it.

“What are you doing?” asked Mort as he saw that your hands were on his hips. You looked down and blushed.

“Oops, my bad,” you said as you let go. Mort started making lunch and you sat on the table. You saw Nathan outside giving you a relieve look on his face. You sighed in relief; if Mort saw Nathan in the house he would’ve killed you for sure. Even if you do work for the CIA.

* * * * *

The next morning you tried to forget Mr. Rainey. You went out side to feed your cat and tried to call her for her food.

“Here kitty, here girl, here kitty kitty kitty kitty.” You didn’t see her run up to the door like she usually does. You shrugged it off though because you thought she was probably chasing a bird or a mouse. You went back to your file work on the computer. You heard the door knock and got startled you opened the door. It was Mort you sighed and tapped your fingers on the door.

“Sorry to bother you, uh is this a bad time?” asked Mort.

“Um, I’m just doing some work, Mr. Rainey, why?” you asked. He looked really nervous, you just stood at your doorway tapping your fingers.

“Um, well I think I found your cat.” You looked at him weirdly and went to his porch. You saw the most horrible thing. Your cat was just lying there motionless. You went to touch her but she was cold and you gasped. Mort was just standing there and he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I swear I don’t know how she got there. I found her lying next to my porch and tried to see if she was alive, but she wasn’t. I’m so sorry,” said Mort. You glared at him and sat next to Smokey.

“I’ll help you bury her if you want,” said Mort. You nodded and Mort got some gloves and put the cat in a box and he got a shovel and started burying the cat. You were crying just a little bit you knew it was just a cat but she was like your friend. When you were having a bad day you would talk to her and tell her all your secrets when you needed to some stuff off your chest because you knew she couldn’t tell anyone and she would just sit there like she was actually listening. You got a stick and taped paper on it and you wrote the name, Smokey. You stuck the stick in the ground next to Smokey’s grave.

“Do you want to come in and have some hot chocolate?” asked Mort. You nodded and you two went into Mort’s house.

“I’m really sorry about your cat. Is there anything I can do?” asked Mort. You shook your head and looked down to your knees.

“Can you at least talk to me, everyone knows I hate the silent treatment,” Mort laughed, trying to make you laugh as well. All you did was look at the ground. Mort got up and scratched his neck.

“Well, uh, I’ll just make that hot chocolate,” he was very nervous around crying girls. He went into the kitchen and started making it. You looked around the house and you saw a lot of DVD’s next to his TV. One that got your attention was The Phantom of the Opera. You walked over to the DVD and picked it up.

“No way, you like dramas?” you sniffed. Mort smiled as he heard your voice once again.

“Yes, would you like to watch that?” asked Mort. You could tell he was trying to be nice. You felt guilty for acting the way you did your just so stubborn.

“You don’t mind do you?” you asked. Mort shook his head.

“As long as that makes you talk then it’s fine,” you giggled a little bit and put the DVD in.

“I love this movie, when I rented it I had to buy the soundtrack,” you said. Mort smiled and looked at you. That made you kind of freaked out.

“Please don’t look at me like that,” you snapped.

“Why not?” asked Mort.

“It makes me uncomfortable,” you said. Mort put his hands up in defeat and sat back on the couch. He reached in his pocket and got out a pack of cigarettes he was about to put one in his mouth but you stopped him.

“Who ever told you that you look cool smoking is a freak because it’s not true,” you said harshly.

“Well Amy told me it looked sexy,” said Mort. You shook your head. You were an agent how dare he smoke in front of you? Well he didn’t know that you were an agent.

“Please don’t smoke it makes me gag,” you said. Mort shrugged and put the cigarette away.

“Suit yourself,” Two hours went by and the movie was half way over you fell asleep during movie. Mort saw that you were asleep and put some sheets over you.

“Think of it look our secret engagement your future bride,” said Christine.

“Then let them see it’s an engagement not a crime.”

Mort turned off the movie and he got his keys and went to the pet store.

* * * * *

You woke up on Mort’s couch. The house was empty and you lying on the couch?

‘Please tell me he didn’t,’ you thought. You tried to get up but Chico was on you back sleeping.

‘Aw he looks so cute, why did I ever hate dogs?’ you thought. You slowly got up so you wouldn’t wake him up. You looked around the house again. Then you heard the door open and it was Mort with a box in his hand.

“Hi,” you said, nervously. Mort smiled a little bit and then you heard some scratching in the box. You went closer to him and he set the box down.

“What’s in the box?” you asked. Mort looked a little displeased but he just sighed.

“I kind of wanted it to be a surprise,” he said sadly. You nodded your head.

“Wow you’ve only known me for two days and already you give me a present, I feel special,” you said, sarcastically. Mort chuckled and he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Well uh I’ll-“ you cut Mort off and went to the door.

“I don’t need your pity, Mort, I mean after all it was just a cat, right?” you snapped. Mort stared at you, shocked. He sat back on the couch.

“I think it was more then “Just a cat” to you,” said Mort. You just sighed and looked to the ground.

“I’ve had that cat since as long as I can remember it was supposed to be my brother’s cat but he never really played with it that much. So I got bored one day and I started playing with the cat everyday and it got attached me and it would follow me everywhere. It used to live in my room for a while but then my mom got ticked off because it crapped all over my floor and so she said it couldn’t sleep my room anymore. Smokey was like my best friend you could say,” you sighed as you got all of that out of your system. Mort just sat there and listened. He didn’t interrupt like Nathan would do. Mort rubbed your back and you sat on the couch with him.

“You know, you seem you don’t trust me as much. I just wanted you to know that those rumors about me aren’t true,” said Mort. Once Mort said that he knew it was Shooter. He shook his head and blinked his eyes.

“Did I say something just now?” he asked. You raised your eyebrow and looked at him weirdly.

“Uh yeah, you said that I don’t trust and the rumors going on about you aren’t true. Are you ok, Mr. Rainey, you don’t look so well?” you asked.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. Well here’s your gift, why don’t you open it?” he asked. You clapped your hands together and grabbed the box. Mort went into the kitchen to get a knife and once he did he looked at it like he was hypnotized.

‘Do it, you know you want to,’ said Shooter. Mort shook his head.

‘No, I’m not going to I got to go open the box because her present might be hungry,’ said Mort. Shooter shrugged.

‘Fine, either you do it or I kill her, either way I win,’ said Shooter. Mort dropped the knife and grabbed his head.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up Shooter just shut the freaking heck up!” he whispered. You looked at him like he was crazy.

‘Ok leave, get the heck out. Delaney’s right, he is a killer,’ you thought.

“Are you ok Mort?” you asked. Mort let go of his head and picked up the knife. You were about to walk up to him but once he picked the knife up you quickly sat back down in fear.

“Yeah I’m fine really I just have a head ache,” he said nervously.

“So you told your head ache to shut up?” you asked.

“Oh you got jokes huh?” he laughed. He sat back on the couch and he scooted closer to you and you scooted away. He just stared at you weirdly.

“Lilly I’m not going to hurt you, you know?” asked Mort. Mort opened the present and you gasped once you saw it. It was a bluish gray little kitten rubbing its ear against the box.

“Oh my god Mort, it’s so cute.” You picked up the kitten he started cuddling its face in your neck.

‘God I would love to be that cat right now,’ thought Mort. (Mort’s dirty mind every one)

“Oh my gosh, thank you Mort!!” you yelled. You set the cat down on the couch next to you and threw your arms around Mort’s neck.

“Thank you Mort I’ll pay you back,” you said as you let go of him.

“No, it’s a gift,” he said. You held the kitten in your arms and it started licking you.

“I think it already knows you’re it’s own,” laughed Mort.

“I’ll call it Diamond,” you said.

“I don’t know, I like the name Lilly better,” your head jerked up as he said that and you blushed. You quickly pecked him on the cheek.

“Hey Mort?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“If it’s not too personal to ask, um, what happened between you and your wife?” You asked. Mort just sat there and thought for a minute.

“Well, it’s a long story,” said Mort.

“I got time,” you said as you rubbed Diamond’s head. Mort sighs and starts to tell you about Amy and Ted.

TBC...

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