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A DEAFENING SILENCE Author: Charli Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It's all Disney's fault and who ever it is Pirates of the Caribbean actually belongs to. Summary: Sequel to "Blind Eyes and Deaf Ears". In a house filled with a silence that is oppressive to everyone especially Jack, how does he find the words to tell you how sorry he is? Angst one-shot. Author's Note: So this is the sequel and finally the proper words came after various nudges! Hope you enjoy it and that it is believable enough! * * * * * So beautiful. You remain mesmerised and perfectly still. The images that entwined before your eyes delighted you: the burning reds and powerful oranges twisted and twirled in an enchanting dance. Sometimes they wisped away in a puff of smoke or roared with a fierce growl and powered up the chimney. Another crack and hiss whisper through the silent room as a crisp log is surrendered to the flames of the small fire. You sit silently, staring into the entrancing flames. This is the only place you have been able to lose your thoughts and find a little solace as it is the only thing that is remotely comforting. As a young girl you would often lie beside the fire, enjoying the warmth it would bring. It may sound odd to strangers but you could always lose your worries and pestering doubts when watching something so hypnotising and captivating. Now it is the only place you can let your imagination run amok without fear of humiliation. Most importantly, it lets you forget about the harsh reality of life in which you are living. A figure stands behind you in the darkness as the dim lights from the fire can’t define his shape that far away. He leans against the doorframe and merely watches you. There are no words that can make this situation better as pathetic as it may sound. Captain Jack Sparrow, the master of the English language, has been reduced to repeating one phrase with the monotony of a parrot. The words "I'm sorry" have left his lips more in the last two days than ever before but it does not make the slightest difference to your relationship. The last two days have been spent in an icy, uncomfortable silence and the unspoken grief pains him more then any verbal or physical fight can. He almost wishes you would get angry and show some kind of indication of how you really feel. But so far there has been nothing. You are just a doll. Jack runs a hand down his face wincing at that thought. It is his fault you are like this. Aye, you may have built up a mask during your childhood to disguise against the troubles that have come your way but he has added so much more. He has encouraged it, thinking you are so unusual and exciting because of your placating personality and despises him self now for letting you build it up. During the last two days, he has seen the strongest mask slip into place putting another barrier between him and your real personality. He knows it will be a long time before it can be fully destroyed. And in this moment of watching you he has never wanted to destroy it more. You hear him behind you but don’t turn around. There is so much you have wanted to say to him but as time passes you have been rendered speechless. You assume it is only shock and it will pass leaving you and Jack in the same place as before. This just has to pass by first. The silence was welcomed to begin with. It allows you to forget about everything and you don’t have to try and find the words to explain how you feel. That will just confirm that all this is true. It is easier and simpler to just stay mute and avoid all contact with Jack. If you don’t talk about what had happened, maybe it will just go away. You hear one of the oldest floorboards behind your chair creak and realise Jack has decided to attempt to talk to you again. You stand quickly, tearing your gaze from the fading fire and averting it back to the floor. Jack knows what you are going to do because this has been the same silent waltz you've both been entangled in for the past two days. He is tired of it now. He needs a response from you even if it is going to cause more destruction. These thoughts may appear selfish but it is the only way this issue is ever going to be resolved. He grabs your arm tightly as you try to pass him and you freeze. Your eyes and posture remain like the porcelain doll, but Jack can sense the fear that grips you at his touch. This is almost unbearable for any husband to witness. His own beautiful wife is afraid of him. Slowly, gently, he pushes you back into the soft armchair and kneels between you and the fire. His hands find your thighs and stay there, statically, not even attempting to do anything more. It is merely an action to keep you in the seat and to stop you from getting the urge to bolt and nothing more. It is too soon to try anything like that. You feel trapped. Your breathing and pulse rate quicken as you realise he is about to talk through everything that you don’t want to hear. Your throat feels restricted and as dry as an old piece of parchment but there is little you can do about it now. The fire has lost some of its ire and the light it cast into the room is softer. Jack watches as it flickers across the exposed skin that he badly wants to taste and shone into your dark eyes. But the previous warmth for him and the world that can usually be found there has vanished, leaving only a dark blankness. Anger sweeps through him, mirroring the fire in the hearth behind him. It is all caused by him. The anger is made up of the shame for betraying you and the guilt of seeing the horrendous effects on you. He is a fool. A fool, that has probably lost the most beautiful and valuable thing in his life just because he committed one stupid mistake. He has to say something, anything, to try and relieve the pain in his body and the huge amount you are suffering with but he can’t think of a gentle way to begin. "Darling, please tell me what you're thinking,” he asks, pressing his chest against your lower legs to hold you close and find some comfort. Unfortunately, there is none to be found. This is too much for you. It is going to be a direct confrontation and that does not suit your way of dealing with things. Shaking your head silently, you roll your eyes, searching for refuge in the fire once again. Your heart is slowly breaking and you have no idea what to do to stop it. Jack's heart sinks at your reaction and he stretches up to hold your face between his hands, turning it gently so your eyes have to lock onto his. There is nothing you can do to stop him. You are completely helpless. He is stronger than you but this is one of the worst things he can do. You will get trapped in those eyes and leave all your emotions unprotected, and more importantly, unguarded. "My beautiful wife," he says softly, watching you. "I should never have even thought about doing what I did and I'm sorry." The stinging, that you have fought so hard against for the past two days starts burning, causing you to blink rapidly and the dull ace in your heart intensifies. He is going to confirm what has happened. That is not what you want to happen because it will confirm that it is true. A silent tear slips from your sore, smarting eyes followed by another and another. Jack notices this and immediately panics. "No darling, please don't do that,” he says gently, brushing your tears away with the pads of his thumbs, "I'm sorry." You feel you have to say something to end this excruciating torture, but what that is, you have no idea. "Don't say anything, Jack" you whisper but your voice catches and you stumble over the words. The sound of your voice is so pathetic that he wants to do everything he can to make you feel better but how can he when he is the one who caused this to begin with? "I have to; you have to know why I went with h." Jack is cut off as your fingers press shakily over his lips. Shaking your head more tears slide over the soft curves of your cheeks. "Don't talk about her," you whisper. "Don't make this real." Jack's eyes shut briefly and when they reopened, the sight of you makes him want to hurt something so badly. Now he isn’t sure which is better: the deafening silence or the feeble talking. He holds your face tightly, looking straight into your eyes. "I'm sorry but this has happened." Your hands immediately clamp over your ears and your eyes shut tight. "No Jack," you whimper. He sighs at your reaction as it feels like another nail slammed through his heart and wrenches you further from him. Slowly he covers your hands with his and pulls them away gently, keeping his body deliberately close after doing so. Nervously you crack one eye open and saw his proximity and tightly close it again, struggling against his grip. Jack holds you effortlessly but can’t help the quiet moan that escapes his lips from all the squirming against him. You are so close that he can smell the coconut in your hair and the sweet scent of your skin. It draws him closer like a poison as he presses his lips against yours gently. Your eyes snap open and you can’t help but to return the kiss. He feels so safe, just like always and this is something you have craved for so long. One hand finds its way to the soft skin of your neck and tilts your head slightly. Jack's tongue touches your trembling lips and you allow him closer but the waves of pain and doubt start to wash over you again. Slowly, Jack takes his mouth off yours to catch his breath and looks at you with a wonderment and delight for showing a reaction. It is the exact one he has hoped for. However, it isn’t how you really feel; it is just your treacherous body reacting to his seductive powers. He whispers your name as his lips touch yours again and you freeze. That horrifying image that has infiltrated your restless dreams for the past two nights suddenly flashes in front of your eyes. Jack pauses, moving back from you slightly and notices the glazed expression your eyes are holding and winces, hoping that you aren’t thinking what he believes you are. It suddenly becomes too much for you again and you push against him forcefully. Jack is knocked off balance and it gives you that precious moment to slip past him. He watches, hurt as you run from the room and him. The house is plunged back into that deafening silence once again. THE END |