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FIGHTING FOR DOMINANCE Author: Becca Disclaimer: Nope, I own nada, it's so unfair *goes to wallow in self-pity* Summary: Having been in a relationship with Sands for over a year you're starting to find some of his habits too much to take and are considering the end of your relationship. A night has ensued for you to make your feelings known and a position of power is to be claimed as you try to teach him a lesson but at the end of it all is it going to be you who learns something you never thought you'd know? * * * * * Waiting alone in an elite restaurant was not how you had intended to spend your Saturday evening and minute after minute your will to get up and just leave is growing stronger. For the past half an hour you had been successful in ignoring it, distracting your mind with excuses as to why Sands was late yet again though as usual he had promised to meet you at 8pm on the dot. That time you knew from the beginning in your heart of hearts was not going to be his time of arrival but after a month of not seeing him and in your phone call but a week ago where he sounded like he really did want to see you you'd thought that maybe tonight he would make the effort and he would be there. Fat chance. You knew Sands and his ways and they were admittedly part of his appeal, the sense of the unexpected brought an excitement to your relationship and when you'd first started dating you had thought that this would be the thing that made it a success. Again your thoughts had been flummoxed. While the unexpectedness of where Sands was, when he would turn up, whether he might surprise you out of the blue as he on occasion did was inviting and appealing at first over the beginning few months of your time together, one year in it had started to wear thin and you found yourself looking for the slightest bit of stability. In this relationship it was hard to find though as Sands was so often away and you knew that he was not remaining faithful during these periods. You had known from the very beginning and it had been a good arrangement at first when you were looking for something that wouldn't tie you down too much but now... now things were different and you just felt like you needed maybe the slightest bit of commitment every now and again. You didn't expect him to propose or anything on a very grand scale, you didn't even expect him to give up the pleasures he took with other women though you would prefer it, but you did wish he would at least once make an effort to be with you. It always seemed that when he was around it was basically for his pleasure and not your own. You were satisfied by him and he had undoubtedly given you many a pleasurable experience throughout your time together but it was always you who had to make the initial effort to seek him out. Occasionally he would call and let you know he was coming into town soon and that he wanted to see you but you never heard him suggest the one thing that you wanted to know; whether he missed you or not. Over the periods of time when he was not around you missed him, you got on with your life just the same as usual and you weren't wallowing in a pit of depression but you still wished he could be there with you. It made you wonder whether he held any true emotions towards you when it seemed that he only came to you for sex and the only times when he would show any amount of romance or caring was when he sensed that you were starting to grow tired of your circumstances. Tonight had been a case of his suspecting your wishes to withdraw from your relationship and his suspicions did not lack in truth. You were growing tired of his shenanigans and the lack of true love and affection that you expected to have in a relationship. Most of all was a want for respect as you felt like Sands believed he could walk all over you, take what he wanted and when morning came he could leave and there wouldn't be any consequences or repercussions. Finally one week ago you had called him and on the rare occasion had actually managed to get through on his cell phone, which more often than not was either engaged or dead. Through the brief conversation you had explained to Sands that if he didn't buck his idea's up a little then he needn't bother dropping by your place for a bit of fun because he sure as hell wouldn't get any. Even through the phone you could sense the pout that adorned his delicious lips and you thanked the miracles of modern technology that you did not have to tell him this face to face. If you'd actually been able to see his expression then you knew your heart would rule over your head as his chocolate eyes would soften to unimaginable depths and a look of silent pleading would form across his features. Sands seemed to know very well just how to melt your heart so a phone call was the easiest way of getting through to him adamantly your need for something more in your relationship. Therefore due to your stubborn will throughout the conversation the romantic dinner on this night had been arranged and he had assured you that he would be there. You even managed to get out of him one of his quick "Love ya babe"'s so he most definitely must have become fearful for the doom of your relationship. Over time you had wondered why he cared if he lost you but in the end rather than sticking to the hope that he might love you, you figured that you were more of a safety net, a sure thing if he wanted to get laid and couldn't be bothered to flirt with someone new. You'd mentally beaten yourself up over it many times, scolding yourself for letting him treat you this way but in the end despite all his faults you loved him and in a way it was because of them. His arrogance and self-assuredness whilst being a tad annoying was also a pleasing aspect of his personality. He was confident within himself and with what he did and this most definitely led to some pleasing experiences. He knew what he was doing, the cockiness was not there without reason and you had to admit that without the outstanding sex in your relationship you probably would have dumped Sands' ass a long time ago. Then again without sex in the relationship you didn't think Sands would even start going out with you to begin with. Other aspects of his charm were his flirtatiousness and humour, he knew how to make you blush and laugh and made you feel good about yourself. He appreciated your body at least and gave you reason to think better of yourself. It was impossible to think too lowly of yourself when you had someone right in public whispering in your ear how good you look and how much he wants you. All in all Sands was a great guy to be with when he was around... it's just that he wasn't around enough. His job you knew came first, being a CIA agent it meant that when he worked it was usually unexpected and he would be told to leave to do some assignment or another without a days warning. Again it had proven exciting in the beginning but again you were looking for a little bit of stability so at this point in time you can't help but wonder if you should just get out of the relationship. What Sands did was dangerous and possibly life threatening and you couldn't help fearing for him whenever he was away. You knew he could look after himself yet there was still that niggling doubt that he might not come back. Tonight you would have at least though and then tomorrow you would talk to him about it. You could already think of what he would say, it would probably be something blasé without any depth or meaning, he won't believe that you're serious about leaving and when it finally hits him he'll make up some excuse, be sweet and win you over with one of his soulful looks and a searing kiss. Damn that man. Still, tonight you were prepared to give him a taste of his own medicine and you knew that it was not exactly something he would enjoy, not initially at least. Yes you had made preparations for this night and it was going to be a time when you could teach Sands the lesson that he could not walk over you, you were sick of it and it had to stop and tonight he would find that out if he actually turned up. So here you are, sat at the table having just politely told the waiter for the tenth time that no you do not want to order yet and that you are in fact waiting for someone and yes please he most certainly could refill your glass of wine. You aren't by any means a regular drinker but you are starting to get thoroughly annoyed with waiting and the wine proved to be a slight distraction. It is now over your fourth glass of white wine that you spot Sands strolling in that familiar way towards you. He smiles that lopsided grin as you make eye contact and pouts slightly when you frown at him. "Hey babe," he says by way of announcement as he reaches you, bending slightly to kiss you which you decline and turn your head. "Ok, ok, I know I'm late and all but it really couldn't be helped I'm sorry," he says, not going to sit down but squatting by your chair, waiting for you to look at him. "I've been waiting here for half an hour Sands you could have called," you reply, looking at him as he stares at you with that kicked puppy expression. "I know but my cellphone’s dead so I couldn't." "You could have used a payphone." "That would have meant stopping the car to find one and that would have made me even more late." You growl under your breath, annoyed with yourself as you let Sands quickly kiss you and watch him walk to his seat across the table. It was so stupid how easily he could win you over yet he managed it every single time. "So how long are you around for this time?" you ask as the waiter comes over and passes you and Sands menu's and then leaves you to decide. Sands opens his and scans through it before looking to you and answering. "You know how it is, I don't get much time off especially at the moment..." "Why especially now?" "There's some thing going down with the president of Mexico and some guy called Barillo, I don't know what exactly is happening yet but I'll find out soon. After that it looks as though it's going to be my case to sort it all out." "So you're not going to be around for very long, a week, a couple of days?" "Just tonight." "What?!" you exclaim loudly causing half the occupants of the restaurant to stare at you. Sands just smiles weakly and continues looking at the menu. You don't know why he's doing it as you know what he's going to order but nevertheless he is. "I'm only here tonight, I have to go to Mexico tomorrow and I don't know how long I'm going to be there for." "But I thought we were going to spend some time together..." you implore, your gaze dropping from Sands face to the table. You knew that he probably wouldn't be around for very long but you thought you might have a couple of days at least. You need to sort things out with him and just one night doesn't seem enough to do that in. "We have tonight," Sands offers, reaching across the table and lifting your chin slightly to look at him. "I know that's not very long but I can't help it, if I could I would." You nod your head in agreement, silently looking at Sands for a moment before drawing your attention to the menu and looking through all the delicious meals on offer. You had wondered how good Sands choice in restaurant would be but so far it had seemed pretty pleasing despite the slight over-attentiveness of the waiter who had now come to stand beside your table, notepad at the ready. "Are you ready to order?" he asks, disturbing the silence that had now fallen between you and Sands. You had to admit that it was quite unusual, you could easily be quiet but Sands usually started a new conversation straight away, maybe he really did feel bad about not being able to stay longer? "I'd like the puerco pibil and a tequila and lime," you hear Sands say, the same choice of food he always ordered whenever you were out with him. You wondered if he actually ate anything else but it seemed he enjoyed it so you weren't going to say anything. "And you madam?" the waiter asks you. "Um... I'll have the chicken and bacon risotto and another glass of wine please." you reply, folding your menu and handing it to the waiter once he's finished writing it down. "No starters?" "No thank you," Sands interjects before you can reply. You knew exactly why he wants the meal to go quickly but for once you're not going to allow it to go by too fast, after a month of not seeing him you wanted to spend a little quality time with him that did not revolve around sex. Still though you shake your head in agreement with Sands and watch as the waiter walks away. "So, how do you like it?" Sands asks, leaning back in his chair and looking around him. "How do I like what?" "The restaurant I picked." "Oh... yeh, it's nice." "Nice?" Sands repeats incredulously. "I'll have you know that this is the best damn restaurant in this city, and the most expensive might I add." "Ok then it's gorgeous, happy?" you reply, you still weren't going to make Sands life easy and make nice, you were still pretty pissed off with him. "Incredibly," Sands replies wryly, detecting your annoyance and knowing that he might have to work a little harder to win you over tonight. "You look beautiful, did I tell you that yet?" he adds, smiling at you. You can't help the small twitch at the corner of your mouth as you try not to smile. It was plain to see that he didn't want to be here and would rather be in bed, this would be the reason for the compliment. "No you hadn't, thank you." you reply curtly, not ready to back down just yet. "Especially as you're mad at me,” he says with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Well I have reason to be don't you think." "I've already explained..." "I know but it doesn't make it any better. The fact of the matter is I haven't seen you for a month and when we finally do arrange to meet up you're half an hour late." "I thought you liked it like that, no strings..." Sands says, a slight frown adorning his features. You worry your lower lip slightly, fearing that that statement may have warned Sands as to the conversation you wanted to have with him. Over dinner you wanted things to be pleasant and you did want to make love later and if you started that conversation now it was unlikely that it would be happening. If he detected that you wanted him to commit more then he would probably run a mile. Thankfully you're saved from answering as the waiter comes over with your drinks and informs you that your meals will be ready in half an hour. "So you're leaving tomorrow morning then?" you ask by way of avoiding the subject. "Yeh, not too early mind so we do have a fair few hours after sunrise" he replies with a lick of his lips, indicating exactly what he plans on doing in that time space. You roll your eyes at his comment and continue to look at the table, it was amazing how little you could think to talk about even though you'd not seen one another. Sands sighs and reaches across the table placing his hand on top of yours. "Look, I know you're annoyed but lets try to make this evening pleasant? Please?" he asks, absently stroking your thumb with his own. As you look at his imploring expression you find your reserve melting and just as you expected you were giving in. You offer him a smile in acceptance at which point he brings your hand to his lips and kisses it softly, his gaze not leaving yours. Damn that bloody man. The next hour is spent in the restaurant; you talk about anything that comes to mind, films, music, what's happened in your life in your time apart which was actually one of the shortest topics. You tried to ask Sands about work but he didn't say much and eventually asked you to stop questioning him because he couldn't give you many answers. Your meals arrive and you both dig in, the cost of the restaurant being justified by the quality of the food, it had to be by far the best meal you had eaten in a long time. After the main course was finished you had ordered dessert despite Sands apparent desire to leave. Yet again the cheesecake you had ordered was the best you had ever tasted and you made a mental note to come here again though it would definitely have to be a special occasion. Again you kept Sands waiting as the waiter asked if you wanted coffee and you agreed. You didn't really want coffee and you wanted to leave too but it was part of Sands' punishment and you had to stick to your guns. If you gave in now then all your plans for the evening might as well be forgotten as you would need to show a lot more reserve than this. Finally though once the drinks were finished and the bill paid you were in Sands car, pulling away from the restaurant at a speed you knew wasn't legal and only showed Sands want to get home even more. "So, are you coming back to mine then?" Sands asks as you reach traffic lights and a crossroads, one direction heading towards your apartment the other heading towards Sands hotel. "No, I think I want to go home," you reply, watching Sands slightly bemused expression. It wasn't very often that you refused to stay with him in a plush hotel suite, however tonight you had your reasons. "I hope you don't mean alone," Sands replies as you turn down the road towards your apartment. "You'll find out when you get there, I'll either ask you in or say goodnight." you reply with a mischievous smile. You knew as well as he did you weren't going to make him leave but still, this little game was fun. "Well is there anything I can do to persuade you to let me in?" he asks, his voice dropping low and husky. "And remember that you have kept me waiting with the bloody dessert and coffee for a long while so I shall be trying every thing I can think of." "I think Sands that even if I hadn't you would have tried everything and anything," you answer with a knowing smile. "You make me sound so desperate," he says dramatically, looking to you in amusement. "though when it comes to you those thoughts are well placed" he adds seriously, his eyes flicking over your body to give you an appreciative once over. "Well isn't that a turn on," you mutter wryly. "You should know that women like being chased but they don't like puppies pining over them, desperation is not a good look on you it really isn't." "Well as you've pointed out a fair number of times we haven't seen one another for a month so is it really that surprising that I can't wait to get my hands on you? Surely you're thinking just the same..." Sands says with an arrogant wink. Ah yes, he thought he had you sussed and you admit he did really, you wanted him badly but you are also much better at hiding that fact. "Maybe... but I'm sure I could live without you and it wouldn't be too much of a strain to simply say goodnight when we get to mine so that you may go on your merry lonely way." "And here I was thinking all evening that you were annoyed with me because we couldn't spend enough time together." Well he had you there and you couldn't exactly disagree. Instead you give him a non-committal shrug and keep your attention on the road ahead, something it seemed you were doing more than Sands as you can detect his gaze directed at you. "I meant what I said when I said you looked beautiful." he announces breaking the short silence. "Although it could be improved..." he drawls, causing you to look to him in puzzlement. That was not a compliment, he was not supposed to tell you that you could look better... "For example..." he continues, one hand moving towards the strap of your dress on your shoulder. "This would look far better if it were like this..." he says, gently pulling it so that it slides down your shoulder. "And this..." he says as his hand trails down your arm towards your knee where he bunches the skirt of your dress in his hand and starts dragging it up over your thigh. "Would be far better around here." he says with a lick of his lips as the hem of the dress is left just an inch from your hips. You can't help the fluttering in your stomach as his fingers gently graze over your skin and it takes every effort not to smile as his hand wanders onwards. You can't help but let out a small laugh as Sands suddenly brings his hand away from you with a look of utter surprise on his face. You knew he wasn't expecting to be able to touch you at your most intimate place without the obstruction of underwear and the look of utter shock written all over his face was enough to make that smile break through. You see him gulp almost audibly, his eyebrows raised slightly as he tries to keep his attention on the road and on you. "Damnit woman if I'd known earlier..." he finally says, his voice low and husky with apparent desire seemingly increased by his findings. "We probably wouldn't have made it through dinner." you finish for him, pulling your hem down to its rightful position and pushing the strap onto your shoulder again. "Hell no, would have dragged you out the door straight away" he replies, the growl in his voice sending shivers down your spine. "Well that's exactly why I didn't let you know, you owed me a good meal." the only answer you get is the sound of Sands growling and the car lurching forwards as he steps harder on the accelerator. "I told you Sands desperation is not a good look." you say playfully, smiling at him as he looks at you with dark, clouded eyes. "Well now then I think you owe me for keeping that little secret." "And what exactly does that entail, how can I make us even?" you reply with feigned innocence. "You'll find out when we get to yours." he says simply. You can't help but inwardly chuckle as you think about the night ahead of you. Maybe you did owe him for that but he owed you a lot more and you still needed to get your point across. If Sands thought he was going to get everything his own way tonight then he had another thing coming. The rest of the journey which had been sped up due to Sands eagerness to use the accelerator is spent with you thinking about the coming events and the message you were to give to Sands and him glancing between you and the road as he clenched his jaw. It was amusing to see him all worked up, it made you wonder if he had been unfaithful while he was away because his desire seemed far stronger than usual. Then again this was Sands, his lustrous moods could vary from time to time, sometimes he'd be almost nonchalant and other times like this occasion he could be like a burning inferno. Finally though he stops the car, quickly gets out and goes to your side to open your door as you pull up outside your apartment block. You're quite astounded by his chivalrous antics but find his motives to be less than gentlemanly as he pulls you out of the car and pins you against the cold steel his lips against yours in a matter of seconds. Caught off guard all thoughts seem to seep from your mind as Sands lips engage with yours, his tongue licking at your lower lip begging for entry. You find yourself caught up in the moment and any idea of making him wait fleeing your mind as you allow his tongue to explore your mouth, duelling it with your own as a small moan rumbles through your throat as his hands skim along your thighs over your dress and his groin presses insistently against your hip notifying you of his absolute want. Your senses however seem to return to you as you feel Sands attempting to hook your skirt up and you bat his hands away. Insistently he tries again but this time you take a hold of his wrists and are surprised when after a while he complies and stops his attempts. Biting gently on your lower lip Sands draws away from you marginally, his lids seeming heavy over lust clouded eyes. You lick your lips and smile at him for a moment, standing there just feeling his body still close to yours, both your breathing coming laboured in the aftermath of passion. "So..." Sands finally speaks up though his tone is hushed. "Was that a goodbye kiss or a preview of things to come?" Silently you place a soft kiss on his lips and push him away gently, moving to get your handbag from the car and shutting the door. Ignoring Sands you steadily walk to the lobby doors of your apartment building, knowing that once you'd stepped through them Sands would have to be quick behind you or he would be locked out and you weren't planning on letting him in. If he couldn't keep up then that was his problem though you knew that once you reached your room you'd probably end up buzzing him in, he had ignited too much desire for you to let him leave, you would just play with him for a while. Sands seems to realise the situation and quickly locks the car, practically running towards you. You can hear him behind you and turn as you step into the lobby, blocking him from going further. "Night Sands." you say, raising your hand in a slight wave. His eyebrows shoot upwards as he looks at you but his next movement is one of confidence. For the second time that night you find yourself pinned by Sands, this time with your back against the far wall of the lobby as he'd managed to push you without knocking you over. Yet again his lips are hot against yours and only the slight ring of a bell pulls both your attention away and you realise that you must have knocked the button to the elevator. Smiling you manage to pry yourself away from Sands and step inside the elevator, pushing the button to make the doors shut. This was definitely a fun game as you see Sands look of utter dismay as the doors start to close without him inside and you can't even gauge the speed at which he moves as he steps between them. "You're really not being nice tonight," he says in a low growl, his only answer from you being a mischievous smile. "But you know what?" he continues, a feral expression on his face as he steps towards you. "Two can play at that game," he finishes and in an instant has his hands on your hips pinning you against the wall yet again, his lips hot against yours yet again, and his arousal firmly noticeable against you yet again. You smile within the kiss and hear Sands growl as you turn your head away and push him from you. "You know I'd really like it if you'd stop doing that." he growls, trying to step into you again but finding himself faced with an empty wall as you step to the side. He growls and rests his head against the cool metal, his frustration very apparent. You can't help but feel like laughing at his predicament, you liked holding this smidgen of power over him and it was a nice change compared to his usual dominance. "You know what I'd like?" you whisper as you step behind him, sliding your hands around to his chest as you lean against him, feeling his abdominal muscles twitch as your fingers grope lower. Sands nods his head and straightens his stance, allowing you to whisper into his ear. "I'd like you to be a good boy now and do what you're told." You hear him chuckle and feel slightly affronted by it, he wasn't taking you seriously as usual and he seemed to still think that he could win you over and do what he liked if he really made an effort. "Don't laugh at me Sands," you continue to whisper, softly kissing his earlobe and enjoying the shudder that passes over him as you do so. "I don't like that, and what I don't like I won't have." you finish, biting on his lobe hard enough to make him yelp yet soft enough not to draw blood. Stepping away from him you watch him as he turns to you, one hand going up to rub the damaged ear, his expression one of surprise and possibly slight understanding. "I see," he finally speaks, casually leaning on the wall of the elevator. "We're having it your way then." "My way or the high way," you confirm, your expression though smiling being one of utmost seriousness. Sands grins in that familiar lopsided way and just looks at you with an expression of surprise and wonder. It seems that maybe already he's got the drift that you weren't going to let him walk all over you tonight and you can't help but smile as the bell chimes announcing your arrival at your floor. Taking Sands hand in yours you step out and make your way down the corridor to your apartment door, letting go of him to take the keys from your handbag and unlocking it. He mutely follows you inside, and surprisingly makes no move towards you as you shut the door whereas usually he would have already captivated you with his lips and you'd both be fumbling your way towards the bedroom or couch. Chucking your handbag onto the sofa and slipping out of your shoes you can feel Sands eyes on you the whole time as you step into the raised kitchen area that was part of the open plan living space. Sands takes a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar as you look through the fridge, letting out a pleased sound as you find the bottle of Baileys you'd been looking for. "You know you really don't have to ply me with alcohol to get my into bed." Sands says, watching as you take a glass from the cupboard and put a couple of ice cubes in it. You smile and silently pour the Baileys over the ice, noticing Sands frown as you take a sip of it and he remains without a drink. "I know," you answer simply, looking at him as he licks his lips. You knew he was probably thirsty, he'd not drunk much at the restaurant and your frenzied kissing could very easily drain your body of much needed fluids. "You know where the glasses are, I'm sure you can find your way around" you say nonchalantly, breezing past him as he stares on in wonder at your sudden lack of want for him. He continues to watch you but finds his suspicions to be wrong as you head towards your bedroom, causing him to quickly grab the bottle of Baileys you had left on the side, gulp some down and then saunter after you. Inside your room you leave the light off and take a seat in the comfy chair in the corner, the most part of the room being occupied by your large double bed, the iron headboard against the back wall. You can hear Sands fast approaching footsteps followed by him stepping through the door and looking to the bed only finding it to be empty. "Thirsty?" you comment as you see the bottle of Baileys clutched in his hand and he jumps slightly as he turns to the side, squinting in the darkness to see your form. "This is slowly turning into a scenario where I'm pondering if you're pointing a gun at me." He speaks finally, his tone edged with slight caution. Wow, this was definitely a major occurrence in history, your antics had made Sands slightly worried?! "You wouldn't be much good to me dead," you say, getting up from your seated position and placing the drink on top of a bureau nearby. You walk towards Sands slowly, enjoying the feeling of his eyes on you and nothing else, fully concentrating on what you're doing. You can almost hear the cogs turning in his mind as he tries to figure out what you're up to and can only restrain the chuckle and not the smile as you ponder it yourself. You had planned this evening a week ago but now putting it into effect was a bit different, some of your confidence had melted away. However you know that you can't back down now or you'll seem like an idiot, starting but unable to finish. On the exterior you keep your confident stance, your face holding an expression of utter power and assurance but on the inside you're positively shaking. Sands thankfully doesn't seem to detect your inner turmoil and doesn't argue when you pry the bottle from his hands, placing it atop the bureau next to your glass. Stepping into him again you place a soft kiss on his lips, tasting the creamy remnants of the alcohol on them and smiling in delight. Sands seems to regain his own audacity and your reserve seems to almost be at a loss as you find the softness of the kiss starting to stoke Sands desire as his hand comes to your cheek and tilts your head, flicking at your lower lip with his tongue. Instead of allowing him though for the uncountable time that night you hear a frustrated growl from him as you step away. Instead of losing contact completely though you lean into him again, placing yet another soft kiss on his lips. This time he does not try to take it further as it seems he has understood that you're not going to let him and indeed that you are going to have things your way. "Good boy," you whisper after a moment as you draw away smiling. Sands eyes seem to twinkle in the darkness of the room as he smiles at your appraisal. "Now, if it's all the same to you I think it's getting awfully dull standing in the dark so..." you begin as you walk over to the bedside table and turn on the light. "Much better." you state, blinking slightly as your eyes adjust. "Now, another thing I don't like about this situation is your clothes Sands, they're really no good to me so I want them gone." you continue calmly, taking a seat on the bed and motioning for Sands to proceed with the removal of his attire. Sands seems slightly taken aback by your calm request but nevertheless starts to unbutton his black shirt, the smooth expanse of his chest gradually coming into view. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight as he shrugs it off his shoulders, your eyes wandering appreciatively over him. Instead of continuing though you're surprised as Sands stands with his arms folded across his chest, looking to you expectantly. "What?" you query, confused. "Your turn." he states simply causing you to furrow your brow. "I told you you owed me before so now it's your turn to do something I want." he explains, a smile tugging at his lips. You bite your lip to restrain an overwhelming feeling of amusement but proceed to get off of the bed and move to stand before him. "I think you owe me a lot more" you reply, raising your eyebrows as if daring him to disagree. "Maybe I do, but you still owe me something and I would like to claim that something now." he replies calmly, looking down at you slightly from his couple of inches height above you. "Well what do you want then, I don't see that the removal of my dress will leave us in a fair predicament as I shall be standing here fully naked whereas you would only be half." "What if I promised to be naked straight after you were?" "You're not one for keeping promises, don't expect me to think you will now" "I've never made a promise about being naked before though, believe me those kinds of promises are not ones I take lightly." "I'm sorry Sands but I have already told you, you're not getting it all your way tonight" Sands huffs his response and you smile, this was proving easier than you thought it would be. Whilst on the outside Sands always exuded confidence and dominance it seemed that he did not know what to do when facing a controversial situation such as this. "I'll tell you what..." you begin, thoughts of how to get round the situation coming to mind. "You can just do nothing whilst I..." you go on, bending your head to kiss Sands chest lightly and thoroughly enjoying the shiver that you feel run through him. "Help you..." you continue as you trail kisses downwards towards his naval and the fine line of hair that reaches up to it. "Remove the rest of your clothing,” you say as you start unbuckling his belt, the same one with the cannabis leaf he always seemed to wear. From your kneeling position you don't need to look far to find the bane of Sands arousal and as you undo his trousers a small groan of satisfaction as he is freed from their constraints passes from his mouth. Ignoring Sands prominent arousal you slide his trousers and boxers down his legs, pausing as you reach his feet. From there you untie the laces of his worn boots and stand up, stepping backwards and looking him over admiringly. As your eyes wander over Sands body his gaze doesn't seem to leave your face and his expression seems to most certainly hold one of slight trepidation and fear. Stepping out of his boots and trousers however he gulps slightly and the cocky grin on his face returns. "So now it seems that I am the one being dealt inequality." he announces, causing your attention to be drawn to his face and his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I suppose you are," you agree with a small nod, looking him over quickly once again. "But there's still one more thing I want you to do before I change those circumstances." you add. "And that is...?" Sands asks warily, he seems utterly flummoxed by your new found confidence. "Lie down," you say, patting the mattress of your bed and motioning towards it. Surprisingly Sands complies straight away, walking towards you but passing you instead of stopping as you expected him to and proceeding to lie down on his back. "Now, this is where we begin the real fun," you state, walking towards your bureau and opening the top drawer. "What are you doing?" Sands asks from his position, propping himself up on his elbows so that he may see you better. Finding what you're looking for you turn to him and frown in feigned annoyance. "I told you to lie down." you state, almost laughing as Sands rolls his eyes and slumps down on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Walking over to the left side of the bed you take his wrist in your hand as he looks to you in wonder. His eyes widen and a smile graces his features as he sees what you're holding in your other hand, a long black silk scarf that you proceed to tie around his wrist. "We should have done this a long time ago," he states as you make him put his arm back behind his head and fasten the scarf around one of the metal poles of the headboard, stopping any efforts he would try to move his hand. "If only I'd known you could be so kinky." he adds making you blush. Instead of responding though you make your way over to the other side of the bed as Sands turns his head to follow your movements. You do not need to hold his wrist this time as he offers it to you and you proceed to tie another scarf around, then attach it to the headboard just the same as the other one. "Comfy?" you ask, cocking your head sideways a little as you look at him with amusement. It was truly a strange sight to see Sands restrained and incapable of anything. "Not exactly but enough. I think the case of inequality needs to be settled now though." he responds, licking his lips in anticipation. Realising that whilst you were capable of just leaving him here like this you did not want to so in one swift movement you climb onto the bed and straddle Sands, not quite coming in contact with his manhood as you're slightly further up his body but enough to make him buck his hips in an effort to move you. "Yes, I suppose the state you're in is not quite fair compared to mine." you agree, leaning forwards to place a soft kiss on Sands lips, sucking at his lower lip gently as you pull away. "I'd better do something about that hadn't I..." you continue, watching as Sands nods his agreement. You smile and fiddle with the hem of your dress, waiting to pull it up over your head. "Though I suppose I could just remain clothed and go watch TV in the other room and leave you here." you say with a shrug. "You can't do that!" Sands says quickly, his eyes wide in fear. It seemed to dawn on him now how little he could do to stop you if you did decide to do that. "Why not?" "Would you really deny yourself?" Sands replies arrogantly the look of fear having left almost as quickly as it came. You smile at his attitude, even when he's tied up and incapable he still manages to be cocky. "I suppose not." you agree and swiftly pull your dress up over your head and discard it on the floor. A low growl escapes Sands throat as he looks you over, wetting his lips with his tongue, his eyes holding a fiery desire. "Much better," he states huskily, inclining his head towards you as you lean down to kiss him. For a moment you share a soft kiss, you'd expected Sands to be fiery and passionate but instead he complies with your slow ministrations, his lips softly melding against your own as you kiss softly. Drawing away from him you realise that with every minute that passes your reserves are flying out of the window and the fact that you wanted to make Sands wait a lot longer was slipping out of your mind. Mentally chastising yourself you shift yourself slightly on Sands body forcing a groan to escape his lips as you brush against his arousal and you can't help the grin that tugs at your lips at the thought of your absolute power. Kneeling up you move backwards so that you're aligned with Sands erection, fully capable of lowering yourself onto him and alleviating his desire in one movement. You can see that this is what he expects as he arches upwards, trying to make contact. Smiling you manoeuvre your right leg over him to join the other and completely get off the bed, leaving Sands alone. "Woman get back here," he growls as you stand beside the bed, watching the annoyed expression on his face. "No" you reply simply causing him to growl. "Because I think you need to be taught a lesson." "Have you got a whip hidden in that drawer too?" he asks, his eyes surprisingly lighting up. "No!" you laugh especially when Sands expression turns to one of dejection. "I'm teaching you what it's like to have to abstain." "Why? We never went over anything in the guidelines of our relationship that said we couldn't see other people whilst we are apart... or did I fall asleep and miss that bit?" "No we didn't and believe me I know that you've made sure to practice that issue, it's not a pleasant thing finding women’s underwear that isn't my own in your pocket." "Well you shouldn't have been snooping then." "I wasn't, I was looking for your cell phone because it was ringing." Sands simply huffs in response. "Anyway, all I am saying is that whilst you've been away fulfilling all your sexual needs with whatever floozy that finds her way into your bed I have been all alone." "You didn't have to be..." "Maybe not but funnily enough there's this little thing in my mind that says its wrong to sleep with men who aren't you," you reply wryly. "So now you're making me suffer just because I'm the only one who can satisfy you." "You're so arrogant but yeh, I guess you're right although I have found some satisfaction elsewhere, you're still the only guy I want," you reply, trailing off quietly in case Sands detects the confession that you're finding it unbearable not to tell. "Resorting to your own methods?" Sands suggests, one eyebrow raised in an interested and cocky fashion and you can't help but smile at his insinuations. "In a way but not the way you're thinking," you half agree. "I think I speak for many women when I say it's far better to be touched by a man than to find ones own pleasure, its far more satisfactory. Women want more to sex than the act itself, there's more emotion, a feeling of intimacy..." "Men want that too." "But you're still satisfied with your own ministrations." "To some extent." "You see, when you're away Sands I have to find my own source of pleasure and whilst it doesn't live up to you..." at which point you can see Sands grin grow wider with pride "it's still something." "So what is this thing I owe my thanks to for keeping you momentarily satisfied?" he drawls. You smile and leave the room, allowing Sands thoughts to fill his mind as he wonders what you could be doing. After a few moments of silence he can't help but begin to worry that you have in fact gone to watch TV and left him alone tied up. You can't help but laugh at his sigh of relief as you walk into the room, your findings held behind your back out of view. "There's a film I watched once and it had a very good quote in it." you begin, walking over to Sands the object still hidden behind your back. "They said that "a woman in lust wants chocolate, but a woman in love wants diamonds" and you know what I have here?" you ask, perching on your knees on the edge of the bed as Sands stares up at you. "A mixture of both; chocolate and ice." you say with a grin, removing the tub of chocolate ice cream from behind your back and placing it on Sands chest, it's icy chill making him gasp. Removing it from his chest you can already see that his skin is tinged red from the cold so you satisfy his pleading eyes by rubbing the chilled area with your palms. "So I have to thank chocolate ice cream?" he asks raising an eyebrow and looking to the tub with disdain. "Yep," you agree with a smile, spooning a dollop of the ice cream out with your finger and licking it off. "Well seeing as it looks like its made you put on a few pounds I don't want to," Sands replies and receives and indignant gasp from you. "I was joking," he says quickly noticing your hurt expression. You smile at him as you know full well he didn't mean it, in fact the last time he had been here he had said you were getting too skinny. "Do I get some?" he asks, pulling an expression very similar to that of a small child begging. "I forgot spoons though," you mutter, knowing that he wouldn't mind. Sands shrugs his answer so you scoop out another chunk of ice cream with your finger, holding it just out of reach of Sands mouth as he tries to bring his head upwards. Knowing your game Sands pouts adorably causing you to sigh in resignation and bring your finger down to Sands mouth so that he could lick the icy chocolate off. You can't help but giggle as Sands nips at your finger, a low pleased growl coming from his throat as he does so. Straddling him once again you lean down, placing the tub besides you both on the mattress and gently brushing your lips against his, licking at them lightly to taste the remnants of the chocolate. "Chocolate is a substance devised by the Gods," you mutter, tasting the sweetness and drawing away licking your lips. "Apparently it's an aphrodisiac," Sands replies quietly, licking his lips and looking towards the tub besides you. "I did hear that somewhere," you agree, spooning a large dollop out and attempting to hold onto it as it starts to melt down your fingers. Again you hold it teasingly out of Sands reach, thoroughly enjoying his hopeless efforts to try and eat it. However with Sands writhing beneath you in his efforts to get to the ice cream you find yourself letting out a loud laugh as the dollop slips from your grasp and onto Sands cheek, especially as he flicks his tongue out to try and reach it. "You do look funny," you say through your laughter, eyes brimming with mirth. "You know I'm seriously starting to dislike this feeling of utter helplessness." Sands mutters, unsuccessfully trying to lick at the ice cream as it slides down his cheek, inching closer to his mouth but still just that little bit too far away. "Its all part of the lesson," you tell him, leaning down and licking at the trail the ice cream is leaving, from his high prominent cheekbone to the small cavern his skin dips into. Your face but inches apart you find it surprising that you're caught off guard by Sands lips brushing your own but nevertheless regain your composure as he kisses you softly. As your lips meet you bring your hand to cup his cheek, the stickiness of the ice cream finding its way to your skin so that you pause your kiss for a moment so that you may lick it off though allow Sands the honour as he looks to you imploringly. A small shiver runs down your spine as he sucks on each of your fingers, savouring the taste of each until he trails his tongue down the palm of your hand and down towards your wrist. Just by these simple ministrations your desire seems to have been ignited ten-fold and within short moments you're crushing your lips against his, the sweetness that had only just made its way to his lips now finding its way to yours. Kissing passionately your fingers go to stroke either side of Sands face, your thumb tracing invisible lines over his cheekbones and jaw until deepening the kiss you entwine your fingers in his hair. His tongue duels with yours incessantly as you fight for dominance in one another’s mouths though it seemed that there could be no loser in the situation. As the kiss reaches farther your heart is beating wildly and every thought flees your mind, all you want is Sands mouth on yours, his hands on your body... but he can't when he's all tied up. Breaking away quickly you sit up, your chest rising and falling quickly as you try to regain your breath, Sands chest doing the same as stares up at you before him. For a few moments you sit in silence, in your mind your thoughts waging war against one another about whether to give in and untie him now or abstain just a little longer. Finally with a deep breath you come to a conclusion, your passion having subsided just a little and thoughts of continuing Sands punishment for just a little while longer winning over, despite the fact that you felt you wanted him just as badly. You're pulled from your reverie as Sands growls your name huskily, his eyes never leaving yours. "Abstinence," you whisper to which you receive a look of utter dismay and a loud groan of disapproval. "You're going to kill me with this damn torture." "The little death," you reply with a wink, receiving a buck of the hips and a reminder of Sands arousal as you find his manhood close behind you as you're shifted backwards with his movement. Grinning wickedly you see the tub of ice cream settled still besides you on the mattress, a shallow pool of melted ice cream forming on top. Picking it up you look to Sands pointedly, holding it above his chest and slowly tilting it downwards. You lick your lips as the pool trickles out of its container and onto Sands chest causing him to shiver beneath you. Satisfied that no more will be released you set the tub aside and watch the pool trickle downwards like a small stream, small lines wavering downwards in a thoroughly tantalising manner. You lick your lips and for a second lock your gaze with Sands', silently telling him what you're going to do. In answer he licks his lips and watches as you kneel up higher, lifting your lower body but lowering your upper so that as you scoot backwards you don't touch his arousal but you have now great access to the expanse of his chest, just waiting for your mouth to lick up the delightful sweetness. You place one soft kiss on Sands chest, right where the pool of ice cream had begun and lick at the skin, savouring the sweet taste for a moment before slowly trailing your tongue downwards, following the little streams path. You continue to follow the route, moving backwards farther and farther, your hair adding to the sensations Sands is being dealt as it tickles across his torso as your head remains bent towards him, your tongue lavishing the skin with smooth strokes. It doesn't take long for you to reach the end of the path, the melting ice cream having all been lapped up. Instead of stopping though you continue to place soft kisses down Sands' stomach, licking occasionally and thoroughly enjoying the feel of his muscles ripple with every movement. As your head moves lower still you can hear Sands moan and feel him buck his hips slightly, wanting you to take him in your mouth and release his pent up desire. Leaving one last kiss on his naval though you start to make your way upwards back up Sands' chest, purposefully not coming into contact with his arousal so that it makes him want you more. Steadily moving upwards you kiss along his breastbone, licking your way onwards and upwards until you reach your initial position. Looking at Sands through your lashes you smile at him, an expression of deflation written on his face. "Stop teasing me, it's not nice," he mutters and you sit up only to lean your face down towards his. "Abstinence," you whisper again with a sly smile. "Fuck abstinence," Sands replies with a growl as in an inconceivably quick amount of time you find yourself pinned beneath him being firmly held by your wrists against the mattress as his lips crush against yours. Your eyes are wide with shock and wonder and you can feel Sands chuckle against your lips as you feel too stunned to return his kiss. With his face but a fraction away from yours he brushes his lips against your own, smiling in that cocky fashion that he had perfected. "How... you... how did you...?" you stammer, thoroughly bewildered as to how Sands had freed himself from the constraints of the scarves. "Well you see, for one you're not a sailor or a boy scout and you really haven't learnt how to tie very secure knots," Sands begins, his gaze locked with yours, that familiar mischievous glint in his dark eyes, "Secondly I'm a CIA agent, I know how to get myself out of situations like that, if you'd used handcuffs it might have been a little different but as far as things come silk scarves are the easiest thing you could have given me." "How long have you been free?" "Since you came in with the ice cream." Your eyes widen further in shock. This would have to mean that Sands had been able to stop you from doing everything you did and yet he hadn't... he had of his own accord abstained. "But you didn't..." you voice your thoughts, thoroughly amazed. "No." Sands agrees with a slight shake of his head. "I thought it would be best if I did try to learn the little lesson you wanted to teach me and believe me it was not easy." "I... I..." you try to begin but find yourself thoroughly speechless. "I know." Sands seems to agree with you and in an instant his lips are against yours again, kissing you for all you're worth. This time there is no hesitation in your response as you allow his tongue to enter your mouth and explore every inch of the cavern. Finding your wrists released from Sands grasp you wrap your arms around his neck, entwining your fingers in his hair and bringing him as close as he could possibly get. Thoughts of returning the punishment that had almost driven him to his wits end come to Sands mind, the thought of you writhing tied to the bed was not an unpleasant one but as he kisses you he knows that it's not possible for now at least. His own want for you is too fired up to wait any longer and having your wrists bound would ultimately prove detrimental if he was to make love to you in that position. He liked the feel of your hands all over him, groping at him wantonly making him feel all the more desired. If he had the slightest smidgen of a doubt left in his mind as to whether he would tie you up it vanished from him mind as wrap your legs around his waist, driving his arousal hard against your own begging him for more. You buck your hips upwards to meet Sands, wanting to feel him wholly inside of you, breaking the kiss to whisper to him your pleas as he places kisses along your neck as you arch your back and your head rolls back giving him father access to the skin of throat. In one quick thrust of his hips Sands is fully engulfed in the warmth of your body, suppressing the moan that attempts to leave your lips as he crushes his mouth against yours in a searing kiss. Kisses are placed heatedly between you wherever your lips can reach as you begin the intimate dance, your hips rolling to meet one another’s as thrust after thrust jolts waves of desire, each one building in strength and power. Sands rolls his hips harder, the rhythm becoming erratic as he plunges deeper inside you beckoning the sweet release that you know is nigh. Gasping for breath you try to will your eyes to remain open, to be able to watch your lover as you see the expression dawning on his face that tells you he's close to the edge and ready to dive right from it. "Sands," you whisper his name, pleading with him to hold on as you see his gaze staring into your eyes, his soul seemingly open to your view as he looks at you with complete desire. He whispers your name and builds up the rhythm farther, the waves of pure euphoria beginning to break over you as slow ripples course their way through your body, starting from your inner most core and working their way outwards followed by the stronger waves as you find yourself gasping for breath, wanting to scream but finding that no sound leaves your lips. Just moments later you feel Sands body shudder, the same waves ripping through him as he thrusts into you one last time with a low growl of pure ecstasy. You close your eyes as Sands lets his weight drop heavily upon you, his breathing ragged and sweat dripping forming rivulets down his skin. You lie there for a moment, feeling the sensation of your hot bodies still one, Sands hot breath against your throat as he nuzzles his head under your chin placing a soft kiss on your collarbone. Silence overcomes you both as you lie with one another, allowing your breathing to return to its regular rate. Slowly after a moment Sands withdraws from your body, rolling off of you to lie on his back by your side. "Was I a good pupil?" he asks quietly, that mischievous tone in his voice ever present. "A star student," you reply with a smile. "Even though you did manage to escape my teaching methods and got away without any disciplinary action being taken." "I think your teasing was discipline enough, no need for any other action for me to repent all my sins and wrong-doings." "I'll remember that in future then," you say with a laugh, sitting up to drag the covers from the bottom of the bed where they still remained from the morning as you hadn't bothered to make it. Pulling the covers over yourself and Sands you lie back down, turning so that you're on your front and weaving your hands beneath the pillows as you incline your head to look at him, watching the peaceful and satisfied expression on his face as he reclines with his hands behind his head. "Night Sands" you bid quietly, knowing that there would be no more from him for a while yet. He wasn't the kind of person who was very intimate after you'd made love, he didn't hold you or whisper he loved you he'd just lie next to you. In the morning you'd find him scooted as far over to the other side of the bed as he could get and you couldn't help but feel a small pang of longing in your heart as you desired him to show you a little affection. He had no qualms in making love to you though you were sure he would just call it sex but there was nothing further than that. You resolve in your mind that you will talk to him tomorrow about all the issues you'd been contemplating but for now you're happy to bask in the aftermath of your love making and leave him be so closing your eyes and with the sound of Sands' soft breathing in your ears you drift off to sleep. * * * * Sands' POV * * * * Sands listened carefully as the woman beside him in bed gently drifted off to slumber, he listened to her contented breathing growing deeper and steadier, notifying him that she was in fact asleep. Waiting for a moment longer to move he looks towards her peaceful face, her eyes closed and a small smile pulling at her lips. He couldn't help but wonder if this was the picture of pure innocence though it would definitely be a shroud that a devil wore. He could not help the smile that tugged at his lips and the small laugh that erupted through him as he thought of the evening’s events, she definitely wasn't as angelic as she looked this instant. The fact of the matter was she had most definitely taken him by surprise and it was one he was most pleased with. She had exuded confidence as she'd carried on with her game, showing him her want for dominance and power and he'd enjoyed it more than he would have thought. If he'd thought about it days ago he would have definitely agreed to doing it but he didn't think that he could find the pleasure in it that he did. He liked to have power over her and whilst she'd never exactly been submissive she still let him do what he wanted, tonight it was nice to see the tables turned. Sitting up in the bed Sands swings his legs over the edge, carefully pulling the sheet back over her shoulders as it slips down with his movement. Quietly padding across the room he picks up his trousers from the floor and finds the lighter, tobacco pouch and papers in the pocket, removes them and discards the item of clothing on the floor once again. Taking a seat in the comfy chair she had resided in earlier he proceeds to remove some of the Bali Shag from its pouch and roll it into the chocolate papers, licking the edge lightly and rolling it so that it stuck. With a flick of the wrist the lighter cap swings open and the small flame is present as he places the newly rolled cigarette between his lips and lights it, shutting the lighter once again and placing it on the nearby bureau. From his position he takes a drag on the smoke and watches the woman just a metre away from him as she sleeps soundly. Sitting there inhaling the smoke he can't help the thoughts that wander his mind, namely because he had been thinking about the same ones for many days, even weeks. Ever since he'd been informed of his upcoming assignment in Mexico he'd started to worry, pondering what to do about the young woman who had stayed with him and waited for him for a year since he met her. It was true that he had other women but these were not ones he would worry about, he saw no need because they cared about him just as much as he cared about them, they were in it for the sex and that was it. That plan ran smoothly, it was simple and efficient in sating Sands' needs and it held no strings or issues of attachment. He could forget about these women in a blink of an eye but this woman, this woman that lay before him? It seemed impossible but she meant a hell of a lot more and over the past year Sands had finally found himself feeling something he had for once and always sworn not to feel. Taking yet another drag he chews his lip thoughtfully, wondering about what he can do. He had a bad feeling about this mission and he was worried that he would not escape it alive. If that happened then what would happen to her? She never told him she loved him aloud but even so he knew, he could see it in her eyes every time their gaze locked, he could read it as clearly as if it were emblazoned in fire across her features. The strangest thing was that he was happy because of it, not just because it gave him a feeling of contentment in himself to know that he was wanted but more so because he knew that his own feelings for her were returned, it was just that both of them had a hard time in saying it. Sands jerks his head slightly in a movement that is a cross between a shake and a nod as he tries to imagine telling her. He tries to picture the moment when he could say he loved her and see her expression but for some reason it all just seems to unreal. This time he shakes his head, letting it drop slightly in a dejected manner. "Love ya babe" was far more simple, it was non-committal and she didn't need to know that he truly meant it. It caused his heart to ache to think that she believed he felt nothing for her other than lust but he had already convinced himself over and over that it was best for him to hide it. If she didn't know he loved her it would hurt her less if she lost him. Looking at her for a moment he finishes the cigarette, stands up and stubs it out in an ashtray also atop of the bureau. Walking over to the bed slowly he stands before moving, looking down at her peaceful form, her lip twitching slightly in apparent amusement at something. Turning off the lamp on the bedside table he crawls back under the sheets besides her, stopping his movements as she shifts in her sleep and turns on her side away from him. Sighing in relief that she had not woken he lies down on his back, looking up at the ceiling and allowing the thoughts to flood his mind once again. It scared him to death to think that he loved her because he knew that loving someone could very often be interpreted and used as a weakness by his enemies, a hard lesson that he had learnt many years in the past. For the moment though he does not dwell on thoughts of the woman he once loved but on the one that was beside him now, the one he wanted to profess his love to whilst she was awake rather than whilst she was asleep. Sighing gently Sands gives in to his usual ritual when he was with her, turning to face her back and bringing his arms lightly around her, slipping one beneath her body so that he could curl it around and one across her so that he could pull her against him. She whimpers slightly in her sleep causing Sands to whisper over and over again a silent plea to not wake up, his heart racing at thought of how he could explain himself. "Not now Sands," she mutters in a sleep fogged tone causing him to smile. Her semi-conscious explanation for him being close was that he wanted to make love again and he was pleased that he wouldn't have to explain anything when she sighed and fell back to sleep. If it came down to it though he would just pretend to be asleep and shrug his arm away from her, rolling onto his back away from her warm body. He hated doing it and he hated waiting until the early hours of the morning when he would remove himself from being wrapped around her and scoot farther away. He hated knowing that she would wake up thinking that he had not wanted to hold her though he had been for many hours of the night as she slept soundly. For now though he could be with her, he could hold her in his arms and place soft delicate kisses on her bare shoulder, breathing in her sweet scent and listening to the steady rhythm of her heart. For the night he would lie like this, paying attention to the small sounds that would leave her lips, to her soft breathing and the way that she would shift in his arms, snuggling closer against his chest. It took every strength of willpower he had in his body to not fall into a sleep with her, a sleep that he knew once he let himself drift into would be the most deep and peaceful he had ever experienced. He couldn't let himself though for fear that he would not wake in time to leave her side and if he didn't he knew it would only lead to questions and they weren't ones he was willing or even capable of answering. Lying spooned against her he let himself half drift, still fully aware of everything around him but on a slightly surreal basis, as though he was half outside of his body. In this state he found himself falling further having not slept much over the past couple of nights and finding his willpower to be lessening as time passed on. He did not detect her eyes flutter open and only held her tighter as she shifted slightly. Pulling himself fully awake again Sands looks at the woman in his arms, her eyes closed but her heart beating slightly faster. Thinking that she is dreaming as the explanation for it he kisses her softly, whispering the words he could never say for real before resigning himself to the lonely side of the bed. He couldn't allow himself to fall asleep still holding her but he was too tired to stay awake so with a final kiss on her shoulder he shifts away pulling his arm gently from beneath her and rolls onto his side looking to the blank wall until the darkness envelopes him. * * * * Your POV * * * * "I love you," you hear Sands whisper as you lie in his arms, your eyes closed but your heart pounding. You had not fallen asleep like this but for some reason you had awoken and found yourself here. Initially you thought that you must have snuggled up to him but from the way his arms tightened around your body as you tried to move away you knew that it must have been his doing. Thoughts speed through your mind at a mile per minute, confusing you as to what Sands motives were but the one that seemed to stick out most prominently was the least believable. Then again he had said it, he was fully awake and he had said that he loved you, confirming the slight suspicion that was arising in your mind. You're surprised to find a damp tear trail a path down your cheek and you find it immeasurably hard not to whimper in protest as Sands removes his arms from around you, places a soft kiss on your naked shoulder and moves across the bed away. You listen to his breathing steady until you detect that he is asleep and sit up, looking at him. You brush away the remnants of the tear from your face and bite your lip, wondering why it was now that Sands chose to confess his love for you, now when he didn't think you'd ever know. You smile weakly at the thought though, at least you now knew that he did love you and lying back down again you whisper your soft response. "I love you too." You finally admit for the first time aloud, before closing your eyes and drifting back to sleep once again. * * * * Standing in the doorway to your apartment wearing nothing but your bathrobe you look at him as Sands stands before you, fully dressed and moments away from leaving. You had awoken fairly early that morning and had proceeded to awake Sands with a soft kiss. After that you had spent the morning making love, afterwards parting in the usual way as you went to take a shower and he remained in the bedroom. You did not speak of what you had learnt the night before and gave him no reason to believe that you had heard his confession. You knew and that was all that mattered, there was no need to initiate any discomfort or unease between you so you had left the situation be. With your new findings you also decided to forget about the conversation that you wanted to have with him, you now knew that he must care about you and you held no more doubts as to his respect for you or your worth to him. "Look after yourself." you state as you lean against the doorframe. "Of course I will." Sands replies in his usual arrogant fashion. "You too." he adds and leans down to capture your lips with his. As corny as it sounds it did indeed seem like time stood still, just for this short moment. Drawing away he smiles, a motion that you return. No more words are shared as he turns and saunters with that familiar slight swagger down the hallway towards the lifts and as soon as he's out of sight you shut the door and lean against it, the tears you had told yourself not to cry earlier now coming and refusing to be kept at bay. Instead you stand there for what feels like an eternity, sobs racking your body as you try to catch your breath. Finally as your cries subside you bang the back of your head against the door fairly hard, punishing yourself for the act. You could not let Sands get to you like this, you never had before so what was the difference now? The difference now was that you knew he loved you and somewhere inside you had the strangest niggling doubt that he would ever come back. * * * * Sands POV * * * * Leaning against the wall of the elevator he tries to shrug off the feelings of hurt and depression that want to engulf him. Everything in his mind, body and soul wants to go back to her apartment, tell her he loves her and stay there for the rest of his life. He didn't want to go to Mexico and go on some bloody assignment, he wanted to stay with the woman he loved. This could not be though so as the lift moves downwards he forces thoughts of her to leave his mind. He would go to Mexico and he could see Ajedrez, she whilst being one of what his love called his 'floozies' would take away some of the pain and would make him forget a little, she could take his mind off of what he had left behind. THE END AN: If anyone is wondering the film I got the chocolate quote from is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days which no, I do not own the rights to. I hope you've enjoyed this story, it was originally intended to be a Valentines fic but it ended up losing all links to Valentines so I thought I would just send it in now. I think that Sands is slowly starting to become my second favourite Johnny Depp character, he's just so much fun to write and the idea of having him tied to the bed was just a nice little smut idea I had to get down on paper. =D Ciao for now! |