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CHAPTER 11 You and Jack step off the Pearl and into the strange city. The crew mumble to themselves as you do as they’re obviously instructed to stay behind and look after the ship now you’re not there. Spices fill your nostrils as you step into the market place and your eyes are filled with wonder at the strange place. It looked as though colour had been splashed everywhere and each one worked harmoniously with the other. You’ve forever wanted to see a place like this, but have never been able to due to low funds and other such things. You look at Jack, your eyes wide, and notice he seems rather pleased with himself. “Is this Asia?” You ask, gasping slightly. “Asia? No love, this is Pedtra a cheap imitation of Asia. Sorry I couldn’t take you to the real thing, but there’s time.” He seems to go quiet as if he is let down. “Wow! This place is amazing!” You do your best to seem as enthusiastic and it seems to work. “It had better be. I’ve got me whole crew searching for plunder ‘ere. Luckily, I don’t do such jobs meself, savvy?” He smiles, you look at him confused. “I don’t do such jobs as the law could…” He makes gestures with his hands “clap me in irons. I just go to the local tavern and…drink up me hearties yo ho!” “Oh, I see. Can’t we look at the stores? It’s been such a long time since I ever bought anything.” You flutter your eyelashes sub-consciously. “‘Course love, if that’s the sort of thing you’re in to. I’ve got Will on that case anyways, e’s off gettin’ you dresses and other girlie things.” He gives you that trademark wink and you blush slightly. “Thank you.” You’re a bit disappointed Jack doesn’t ever seem to pick anything out for you, but let the feeling pass. He offers you his arm and you look at it for what seems like forever, pondering whether to take it or not. His grin turns to a frown as he lowers it and you curse yourself when you see what is pure hurt on his face for the first time. You don’t like seeing that and decide not to hurt him again. “Well then, I suppose we better get going.” He says meekly, you found his blushing quite cute and decided you would embarrass him again. You smile and walk off into the rainbow of people. What you saw amazed you. Barrows of spices, nuts, herbs, vegetables, fruit, meat, fish lined the streets as well as boxes full of live chickens, pheasants, pigeons, doves and other birds. Feathers danced in the air from each box and children ran about with smiles on their faces fighting with wooden sticks. The shops, from what you could gather, were very much the same as ones back home or in Tortuga. Book shops, magic shops, clothes shops, apothecaries, taverns, brothels, writing and the occasional individual shop. People seemed happy with their shouts of advertising. Jack stumbled along continuously gazing at you with those kohl-smudged eyes. He would often tell you a little bit about the town’s history and his time here over the years, including the best brothel and tavern and, of course, the best place to buy rum. He took you into a sword shop and showed you the cutlass’ then explained how Will was a blacksmith so he couldn’t buy them here now, out of guilt from his new best friend. He took you to a hat shop where he compared his very own hand-made masterpiece to the ready-made ones. He would often describe them as being ‘unoriginal’, ‘rubbish’ and ‘not as expertly made’. Then he took you to a clothes shop where you picked out the most gorgeous Caribbean-blue dress that was plain, but really soft. Afterwards he took you to the tavern where he sat for hours drinking rum and telling you his amazing stories. “So then I-I-I killed the, er, the dragon and, erm, pulled out his heart!” He over-dramatised the whole story and did the hand actions too, almost falling out of his chair. “Really?” You gasp sarcastically. He grins again having impressed you. “So what about you then? Any secrets to tell?” He questions you. You stutter with your reply, not used to having questions asked about you. “I, I, suppose so. Um…” You look for one in you seemingly dull life. “I can’t think of any.” “Really? Well then, what’s the real reason you’re on the Pearl then?” he asks. “I told you – I just wanted an adventure.” You rub your finger around the rim of the mug. “C’mon lass, don’t be foolin’ around with ol’ Jack.” He pauses for a second whilst pondering what he said. “At least not that sort of foolin’ around. What’s the real reason you’ve joined me crew?” You sigh, giving in. “Alright.” You search for your words and tell him the story. “I was working in the tavern one night and I had a…bad experience.” He looks at you to continue. “A man – pirate, of course, tried to…have relations with me – out of marriage or indeed, courtship. As you can guess I was completely traumatised. I tried to get him off me but he kept going and hit me quite a few times. So I took pistol and shot him. Of course then I was the victim of rumour and told I had murdered him and nothing less and that ‘Good old George’ was a noble soul who never even looked at a woman. I lost my job, my house, my reputation, my friends…I just had to get away.” “Jesus, I’m sorry.” He took a long gulp of his rum, then mumbled under his breath… “Feisty, killing a man who just wanted a bit of fun.” “What? It’s alright – not your fault.” You copy his drinking and wipe your mouth. “No – I mean, I’m sorry for pressuring you. I had no idea.” He stopped at gave you a sympathetic look. You’re unsure about his change in attitude as this doesn’t seem like Jack, but you decide you judged him too quickly. “Well we’ve reached a new stage – spiritually, anyway.” You half smirk. “So what about your…” “I’ve had a thought.” He cuts you off. “How about, you stay with the crew from now on. I’ll set you up with a nice house in Captain Jack Sparrowsville and we’ll have a few kids and name them all Captain Jack JR.” You’re not sure how to respond. “Sure.” You half-smile. He has the hurt expression again. “So what about Mary, who’s she then?” He seems to look at you with fiery eyes and hatred. “Mary – Mary’s nobody.” He growls. “Jack…” You begin. “Alright. Mary’s just this girl.” He pouts and you feel a sudden urge to kiss him, but shake it off as the rum talking to you. “She’s this girl I met in Port Royale. One of ‘Lizabeth’s friends. ‘Oh she’s simply divine Jack – you’ll love her’.” He imitates Elizabeth’s voice. “Yeah right. So Mary was beautiful. She had brown hair and green eyes and her skin was milky white. She was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. She seemed to like me, I took her ‘board the Pearl but she was one of your types. A Mrs. ‘Oh no Jack, we can’t do that.’ So I bought her gems and dresses and everything she wanted – I really liked her. Then I realised I actually liked her and I didn’t just want to shag her. We ended up doing it though and she stole one of my row boats, a good half of me latest plunder, all of the gems and nice dresses and buggered the ‘ell off whilst I was asleep. When I woke up, she’d took some of me crew n’all. Bitch.” “Oh, I’m sorry, I…” You’re astounded by the fact Jack has real love problems. “It’s alright. That’s why I’m so quick to do the biz with you, savvy? ‘Cause if I don’t spend too much money on you and I don’t fall in love with you before, you can’t ditch me for me crew.” “Oh, I see.” You reply, wondering how to take it. “So who’s Elizabeth?” You know the answer but ask anyway so you could perhaps talk to Will about it without feeling guilty. “Oh Elizabeth? She’s another bird who wouldn’t touch me. I don’t get you noblewomen. Why can’t you be more like the Tortuga girls? Anyways, she’s Will’s girlie.” He gives you the freedom from your guilt. “I s’pose we best be headin’ back when I can still walk in a straight line.” You laugh at the thought of Jack walking in a straight line, as he never has before. “Jack, first can we go shopping again?” He nods in agreement and the both of you saunter off out into the streets. * * * * * CHAPTER 12 You’re happier with your life now as you feel you don’t have to tiptoe around people as much anymore. Whilst shopping with Jack you bought some books, some herbs, a couple more dresses and a journal, which made you feel incredibly guilty after the discussion you had with him earlier. The cabin is how it was left except Will is now lying asleep on the floor, making the place look untidy. You smile at how peaceful he looks and put your bundles on the table. You go behind the screen and take off your dress leaving yourself only in your bodice, which you’re content to sleep in, as you’re exhausted. You step out and see Jack is already in bed and you climb in next to him. “Ok love, I’m going to sleep tonight and I’m very much tired and ‘ave to get up early to navigate the ship, so I don’t expect any mid-night chats, savvy?” He mutters as you realise the normal Jack’s back. “Alright.” You say. He has his back turned to you so you move in close and hug him the way he does you. You’re not entirely sure why you’ve taken this sudden act of intimacy as you put your head on his arm and squeeze him tight, but you come to two conclusions – either you’re drunk or you just need some re-assurance in your life right now. “Glad you’re warming up to me love.” He turns over and you can just make out his face and see he’s grinning, as usual. He entwines his fingers in yours and you feel his breath against your face. Without warning your lips meet in your first real kiss. You’re unsure what to do as this hasn’t happened to you with someone you actually like, so you just relax and enjoy the moment. He’s a very good kisser, plus his lips are really soft and you torment yourself with your earlier resistance – this is what you’ve been missing idiot! It’s slow and sensual and it sends tingles down your spine. You clutch his hand tightly and sink into it deeper as he pulls away, which annoys you as it has ended, but you rest your forehead on his and smile like a small child. He still has your hand and releases it, putting his on your hip, quite low down. “Jack…” You begin. “I know – not tonight.” He winks and kisses you once more, quickly and briefly. “Sweet dreams.” He turns over and you assume he’s going to sleep. You smile to yourself and turn over to do the same; this is better than a midnight chat. When you wake you notice you’re completely alone again aside from the seagulls outside. You’re cuts don’t hurt as much anymore but you have a headache from the drinking of the previous night, which leads you to concentrate on the past day to remember what happened. You stand and walk around the room in thought as you bring your fingers to your lips remembering the kiss and immediately lament it and scorn yourself for letting your defences down. You remember every detail of it, although the rest of the day is fuzzy thanks to the mind-numbing effect of rum. You remember the way you clutched his hand and the softness of his smooth lips. Why did you kiss him? Was this just the re-assurance you needed? You feel guilty towards Jack as though you were just using him, but you don’t think you would use him. You really liked the guy and feel the kiss should have been something to happen when you were truly ready – but did this mean you were ready? As you go over it again the cabin door swings open and in stumbles Jack who grins as soon as he looks up and sees you awake. “Mornin’ love.” He walks over to you and tries to kiss you, but you turn your head and walk away nervously. “What’s all this about then?” He looks confused and offended. “I’m just…nothing.” You sigh, looking around for something to distract you. “Nothin’? It’s hardly nothing when I suddenly repulse you!” He half-shouted it and you feel guiltier still. “Jack, It’s just…I’m just…You see…” What’s the right sentence to use? You’re not sure because you don’t even know how you feel. “Oh, right, I get it. Say no more.” He snaps and begins to walk to the door. “Jack!” You shout after him, he stops and spins around glaring at you with those glare-enhancing kohl smudged eyes. “What?” He says bluntly. “I’m sorry – I’m just, it’s just, I’m…” You trail off looking into his eyes with pleading, pleading for sympathy and understanding as you search for your words. “Don’t worry love, I’m sure Master William will be more to your… tastes.” He swings around and walks off, slamming the door as best as he can when drunk. As if by magic, in walks ‘Master William’ who looks at you, then back at the door, and cocks his head to the side. “What’s wrong?” He asks, taking your hands and sitting you down on the bed. “Oh…nothing.” You sigh heavily, avoiding eye contact. “Of course.” He tilts your chin up with his cold fingers so you can’t avoid eye contact any longer. “What’s wrong?” “Jack…” You begin. “Say no more.” Smiled Will. “Why in the world does he keep doing this to women? Making them cry, shout, throw things…” “No.” You cut him off. “It’s not him, I haven’t exactly been the nicest of people lately.” “I’m sure Jack played a part in it.” Will hinted towards something but you weren’t sure what. “No, really, it’s all me.” You protest defending Jack’s nature. It’s the least you owe him really. “Wait a minute – he didn’t try to…you know.” Will shifted about uncomfortably. “Not really…” You trail off, he raises an eyebrow. “Look, if you don’t want to tell me – that’s fine. Knowing Jack it will be half way around the crew by now, and believe me – you will be the bad one. Anyway, it’s alright if you don’t want to tell me, but I am here for you.” He looks into your eyes with sympathy and longing and the moment grows intense. “You remind me so much of…” “Elizabeth.” You state bluntly, finishing his comment. “How do you know about her?” He asks, shocked. You’ve succeeded in destroying the romance. “Jack.” You state again. “She’s your ‘girlie’” “Well…” He begins. “Yes, she is.” “I know that.” You say, standing up. He stands next to you. “Look…Elizabeth, um…” You sense he is trying to cover something. “Will, it’s not like me and you are anything more than what we are – friends. You don’t have to explain yourself to me!” You laugh the awkwardness off. “I’m sure Elizabeth…” Before you have time to complete your ‘laughing it off’ Will’s lips unexpectedly meet yours in a fit of passion. You run your hands through his hair as he slides his around your waist. The kiss is different to the one with Jack; Jack was soft and tender but Will was fast and somewhat aggressive, which surprised you more than anything did. You pull away, realising how wrong it is and back away from him. “Jack, it’s Jack.” You tell yourself out loud. “I’m Will.” He corrects you, somewhat dumbfounded. “I know but…Elizabeth.” You say. “I’m still Will.” He moves towards the door quietly and out of it. What have you done? Everything is all wrong… * * * * * CHAPTER 13 You know you’ve let things get out of hand. Not so long ago you were happier than you ever have been before, but then your whole world was spun around, leaving you torn between two lovers and, let’s face it, feeling like a fool. As you grace the deck you see Will climbing to the crow’s nest with a furrowed and angry brow and Jack, pouting behind Anamaria whom is at the helm. Mr. Gibbs is working away so there is nobody you can really talk to, so ignoring the various glares and negative energy, you sit cross-legged on the floor and fold your arms across your chest, scowling like you’ve never scowled before. The glares turn to strange glances and the negative energy turns to a puzzled one as you continue your silent protest – why should you make the first mending move? They made the first moves last time. You see Jack swaying past you, casting you a ‘what the hell are you doing sitting like that’ look, as he tries to look as cool as possible. He whispers something in one of the crew members ears and walks back, giving you a ‘what the hell are you doing sitting like that after I’ve just plotted something really wicked’ look. You stick your foot out, which he trips over, and lands flat on his face. “Ow! Blimey lass, if you wanted me on the floor you should’ve just asked!” He moaned, rubbing his nose as he sat up. “Oh, right, I’m not speaking to you.” He really was rather childlike. You give him an innocent smile as he corrects his posture to the true drunken form that is his and continues to walk to the helm, where he resumes pouting like a naughty little boy. You think about what’s happened and decide the only people you could talk to were Jack and Will, but both of those would probably end in disaster, so you decide to try and mend things between you and Jack. Just as you’re about to stand and walk over to him, he begins to speak and the crew immediately stop working. “Ok, It’s time to take a short walk off a long plank.” He announces, winking to you. The crew begins to laugh as he realises what he has said. “I mean a long walk of a short plank.” The man he whispered to approaches you, rope in hands and grabs hold of you before you can run away. You try to wriggle free but it is useless as the man’s grip is like iron. He binds your arms and legs until your skin turns raw with the burns and you clench your teeth in pain as the plank is put out and you are pushed upon it. “Alright lass, before I change me mind, I’m not gonna let you steal me crew, savvy? So I’ll be seeing you.” Jack grins. You look up at Will you is looking down with interest when suddenly you feel the plank jump and you fly backwards into the warm water below screaming as you hit the waves with a pain-stricken smack. You look around you at the oh-so-familiar surroundings. Luckily there are no sharks but there are plenty of fish in the area. You squirm about trying to get out of the bindings to reach the surface but it is to no avail as the knots are immensely tight. You see your reflection all about you and you pity yourself for what you have become – if only you weren’t here! Your eyes widen and sting as the salt water floods them, but you see some rocks nearby. You stretch your arms out in front of you and swim dolphin-like towards them and try to cut the thick rope on them. You succeed, which is very surprising and you untie the ones around your feet and make your way to the air, beginning to feel dizzy as the water fills your lungs. You surface and cough, panting for oxygen. You hear panicked shouts from the pearl from the voices of Anamaria, Mr. Gibbs and Will and feel pure hatred towards Jack. You’re about to swim away when you see a form diving into the sea. As it comes to the surface you notice it is Leo, who swims towards you laughing like a maniac. “Jack says you ‘ave to come on board.” He says. You see the ladder above you and climb up it, frequently looking down on the insane pirate who was deemed to be your rescuer, although he isn’t doing a very good job. One on board Jack, grinning (obviously), makes his way towards you. “You hurt me, I hurt you, we’re square.” He pats you on the back making you spit out more water as you stare daggers into him. He walks off and you glare after him, pulling your eyes up from his swaying hips. “Jack!” You snarl like a rabid dog. “Jack!” You stomp after him and grab his shoulder, spinning him around. He puts up his hands as some sort of defence. “Steady on lass.” He looks down to his favourite viewing point yet you hardly notice it in your rage. “What the hell was that?” You forget your ‘nobleness’ and the fact you’re supposed to be a lady and decide to have it out with this immature bloody pirate! “I told you, you hurt me, so I have to hurt you, savvy? It’s in the code.” He seems rather bored of having to explain things to you. “I hurt you because I don’t want to be groped so you throw me off a plank into the Caribbean where I almost died a couple of days ago?” You shriek. The whole crew gathers around you looking with interest, including Will. “Calm down.” He says, looking about at his followers in embarrassment. “Calm down?” You shout again. “Calm down!” “Who the hell do you think saved you missy? Me, that’s who. I risked my own life for some spoilt daddy’s girl and offered her everything – you’re no better than that bloody whore Mary!” He shouts back, eventually participating in the argument. “I am not Mary and I am not daddy’s girl. In case you’ve forgotten Jack – my father is dead.” You narrow your eyes and lower your voice. “Yeah? Well so is mine, and my mother and my sisters and my brother. You haven’t got it much worse than me pet, and believe me, your father had a lucky escape!” He growls, beginning to walk away. “That is not fair.” You feel tears welling up, but keep your hard face. “According to you we don’t play fair.” He spins around. “You’ll be sleepin’ with the crew tonight and I’m dropping you off the next piece of land I see.” That’s it. He leaves and goes into the cabin. The crew look at you with hatred, especially Anamaria, and you notice Will being, what seems like, comforted by Mr. Gibbs, again leaving you with nobody to talk to. Tonight you’re sleeping with the crew. * * * * * CHAPTER 14 You’re hurt and angry, so you just sit and stare at the helm where Anamaria stands, steering the boat this way and that. You see the horizon quite clearly and will it to draw nearer, so you can just drop off the edge of the earth and fall to your past-station death. You keep hearing your father’s voice in your head “Pirates are wicked my girl, they’d cut you up in a second!” But what did he know? You’d (barely) survived this far amongst them and Jack didn’t seem too wicked, also, the man killed himself! He didn’t know anything! But tonight, tonight you were going to sleep amongst the crew where you’d obviously be treat with unruly manners of mere animals. So you sit and pout, staring at the helm where Anamaria stands, steering the boat this way and that. Will walks up to you and sits next to you, looking out to where you are and smiling gently. “I suppose you’ve come to shout at me too.” You sigh, waiting for the onslaught. “No.” He states calmly. You feel a deep sense of relief that you aren’t pirate enemy number one, although you still feel you’re pretty close. “I didn’t…” You begin. “I know.” He says deadpan. “But Will…” You begin again. “It’s ok.” He states again, it seems he has acquired some new psychic power and he knows everything you are about to say. “I…” You hope to get the sentence out. “Me too.” He turns with that puppy dog look and you smile warmly at him. He faces the front again and you mirror it, but you lean your head on his shoulder and close your eyes. You’d rather sleep now than later. When you awake you find yourself lying in Will’s lap, having been pulled out of a very good dream about corsets. Will is still fast asleep leaning against the poop deck and you look up to see it was Jack who had woken you, with a sharp kick in the ribs! “We need to talk.” He looks solemn and his tone suggests bad news. You stand nervously like a schoolgirl being called to the head’s office (principle’s office). “I think we do.” You agree, following him into the cabin. When you get in there you notice the strong smell of rum filling your nostrils – Jack’s obviously been drinking more than his body weight again. You notice the room is a complete mess, and he’s been burning something. There are dresses all over the floor, some of them ripped, and the one you arrived in is lying on the bed in a crumpled heap, along with a clump of your hair. “What happened here?” You gasp looking around. Broken bottles line the floor and crunch beneath your bare feet causing you to wince and squeal in pain. It’s then you notice your hair. “Is that my hair?” Jack doesn’t reply and instead hands you a note, that’s been badly written (kind of slurred) and has mistakes all over it and smudges too, there are a couple of pages. “Jack, you’re scaring me.” You inform him. He simply gestures towards the note and you do your best to jump over the glass. Once you’re by the window where Will often sits to read, you pick the shards out of your feet and thank God they weren’t very deep, and begin to read. Dear ‘I’m going to hurt you and not sleep with you’ You look up quite shocked and stare at Jack, your mouth agape as he shuffles about uncomfortably. “I don’t want you to sleep with me crew – I’d miss you.” He looks down to the floor like a little boy with a big crush and you smile at him. “I’m sorry – I’m sorry I was mean and tried to get off with you.” It’s weird to see Jack all sheepish having just seen him all angry. He won’t make eye contact with you so you walk over, avoiding the glass and kneel in front of him, gripping his hands. You look up and see he is blushing with embarrassment, so you bring your lips to his and kiss him softly and slowly. The kiss turns more passionate and before you know what is happening your tongues meet in a dance as you struggle to remove each other’s clothes in the nervous romance you’ve been swept up in. You forget your morals and ethics as you slide under the sheets – why should it bother you? You’ve never been all that hopeful anyway and Jack loves you, or at least his note does, so you might as well enjoy it. He nuzzles your neck and kisses your face as you make love. It starts off slow, like the kiss, but moves into the speedy pace often referred to by your friends at the tavern. You gasp in ecstasy and arch your shoulders as he kisses your neck and you climax. It feels strange when it’s over and you pant and give each other short kisses afterwards. When you both come back down to earth, Jack lies on his back and you hug in to him, grasping his waist, unsure of your feelings. You don’t really want to think about anything just now anyway, so you just lie there, listening to his heart and smelling the rum mingled with sweat – you’ve never felt more at home as you close your eyes and fall into your dream. Perhaps you weren’t sleeping with the crew after all. * * * * * CHAPTER 15 You wake to find you’re clutching onto Jack like your life depends on it. You smile as you watch him mumble things like ‘another glass of rum love’ and ‘perhaps we should take this into the bedroom’. He looks so peaceful and innocent when he’s asleep, and for all of the time you’ve been on the ship you had never seen him sleeping. You look over to the floor that Will often occupied, only to find it empty, save the shards of broken glass and mess you had encountered yesterday. You turn back to Jack and notice the clump of your hair was grasped in his hand like his life depended on it. It’s then you gain the memory of what went on the previous night. You quickly look about the room and notice most of the dresses had been ripped and tossed around the room finding it hard to find something to wear. Avoiding the glass you manage to find a plain white bodice, which only had a sleeve torn off and a few rips on the rest of it. You toss it on quietly so as not to wake Jack and you make off towards the door. It’s then you notice a pile of ash with a few pieces on paper in it on the table. You move towards it and pick up one of the pieces to see it is a picture of a girl, a painting. She has strong red lips and heavily made up eyes and fire red hair. Part of the picture is missing because of the embers, but you can clearly make out she was sleeping when it was done. You look at another of them, again, another half was gone. This time the woman in the picture had long blonde hair, a dirty torn bodice and a clean face. She was standing on a beach with a large fire behind her and a bottle of rum in her hand. Another displayed a beautiful girl, quite young, with pale dry lips and white-blonde hair. She was also asleep. The next one you pick up doesn’t surprise you. The subject is you. Your lips are deadly blue and your hair is wet – it’s obviously when you drowned. It makes you shudder slightly but the work was exceptional, compared to most of the art work you’ve seen. You examine them all again and noticed on each one there were the clear letters: CJS –Captain Jack Sparrow. It was quite overwhelming. He painted women who were quite obviously, important to him. He never mentioned it to you before – perhaps you did rush into things, you didn’t know much about him apart from the fact he was a pirate, fell in love with a woman named Mary and had lost his family. That was it. You pause and take a moment to reflect on everything that had gone on since you came onto the ship. Through it all it seemed Jack and Will were there for you the most. You look back at Jack who is still fast asleep. He looks rather dismal and useless, it’s almost as if you don’t feel the frustration and anger towards him anymore. It’s not that you don’t like him, you just don’t know him enough to safely say you actually love him. He doesn’t love you either, how could he? It was obviously the drink talking. He wasn’t there enough to get to know you, for all he did know you could have been a mass murderer. It was all wrong, it would have been more justified had you slept with Will. Speaking of Will he walked in just as you mulled everything over. He smiled like a dejected hangdog and set down the pan and brush he carried in an obvious attempt to show he had been cleaning the room. After a long period of uncomfortable silence Will speaks. “So you get on with Jack now then, no more hard feelings?” You just nod and fake-smile. You feel messed up, so you don’t want to voice your opinions. “It’s alright you know. I know he seems like a womaniser but he genuinely cares. Sometimes too much. He won’t talk about it if you don’t want to.” He reassures you. You just look away. Jack wakes up promptly in a daze and looks around him. He sees you and Will standing there like ridged trees. Will nods for no real reason and leaves. “Are you ok love?” He asks, rubbing his head. You nod. “You don’t seem it. Want te talk about it?” He questions. You shake your head. “Alright then.” He pulls on his pants. “God. What a mess! What happened, did a badger run in or something?” It’s then you decide you’re in way over your head. “No, Jack, it was a drunken idiot.” You’ve decided to take it out on him - and give him the blame. “God! I did this?” He laughs to himself. “Quite talented. Well, at least you’re talking.” “It’s easy to talk when you’re not being rushed into bed.” You snap back. “Have I done something to upset you?” He looks indignant. “Just forget it.” You storm out. You know you’re going about everything wrong. Jack didn’t rush you into bed, you just want to pretend that he did so you don’t feel so dirty. But it isn’t fair to be hostile towards the man because of what you decided to do - you initiated the kiss and what came afterwards. But how could you work out what to do next? Should you continue to be nasty to Jack? Should you just go home? Should you stay and be his girlfriend? It felt weird to think about being in a relationship with someone, you never had been so you couldn’t picture yourself with anyone. There he was again, sneaking up as he usually did - Will. “Are you feeling ok?” His eyes are so dark and loving, welcoming. Will is the true form of the perfect man. If you were going to picture yourself with anyone, it would be either him or someone like him. You nod in reply, lying again. He just smirks and folds his arms across his chest. “You’re lying.” He smiles. “I don’t know whether I’m feeling ok.” You tell him. “Then why did you say you were?” He asks. “It just felt right.” You reply. “I’m confused.” “I’m not surprised. I’m confused. You come onto the ship talking about morals and ethics and traditions and then suddenly, the next minute, you’ve succumbed to Jack’s charms, in a very immodest and naked way.” He chuckles inwardly to himself. He knows a lot and you don’t like that - he’s like a ghost, he sees and hears everything without you knowing he’s there. “It didn’t happen like that.” You whisper trying to give good reason for it. “I know it didn’t. But whatever you’re thinking, don’t go through with it, because Jack doesn’t like it when women take advantage of him.” He’s joking, again, sarcastically and subtly. “I didn’t take advantage of -” You realise he’s joking. “I don’t know what’s going on.” “Just relax. Everything will work itself out - do you believe in fate?” He questions you. “Yes.” You don’t know if you do or not, but you know he wants you to say yes. “Then you should understand, everything happens for a reason. You were meant to sleep with Jack and we’ll just have to see where that leads you.” He walks away solemnly, in a fit of suppressed depression again, you decide. Now, you had to do some serious thinking. * * * * * CHAPTER 16 What to do? Where to go? The world seems to be pushing you closer and closer into Jack’s arms but your heart seems to be pushing you further and further off the plank. You contemplate suicide for a while, it was a sensible option, but decide against it, for your eternal soul would burn in hell had you the courage. But what else was an option? Somehow you didn’t think Jack was the kind of person who would settle down, marry and have children. It was just too confusing, if only you hadn’t stepped onto the ship in the first place. Approaching footsteps wake you from your thoughts and you spin around, seeing Jack with his tri-corner hat staring at the horizon. It makes you smile to see him there, still the tough pirate even though he was close to tears the previous night. What a black heart, you grin wryly to yourself. “Jack.” You say to him, initiating a real conversation. “What?” He’s unusually blunt, but you shake it off. “I want to talk to you about last night.” You’re nervous. “What about last night?” He doesn’t seem to care much about last night. This makes you angry - how could he just throw you aside like you didn’t matter and forget the union you had shared? “Well…” You begin, unsure of how to go on. “What do you think?” “You were good.” He winks cheekily; he knows what you’re getting at but decides to evade the topic for as long as he can. “I see.” You close yourself in meekly. “Look, pet, I never said this would be a long term thing.” He walks over to you but you turn away, avoiding his attentions. “You said you loved me, how is that not long term?” You feel the tears building slowly inside. “You see these people here…” He indicates the crew. “These are my family. I could never settle down with someone else and create a new one, these chaps have stood by me through thick and thin, even Will.” He sees Will is looking over and so gives him a wave. “Do you not get me? I can never leave me crew, they’re like me mam and dad, if I left ‘em ere alone, what sort of person, no - captain, what sort of captain would that make me?” You agree with him, but you don’t want to. It was impractical - how could you ever work? You wanted different things, even though they seemed the same at the time. It would be unfair to take Jack away from his ‘family’. “So what happens to me then?” “You’re free to do as yer please. You can stay ere and live with us, or you can go back home. Your choice.” At least he’s said you can stay, but what happened if you did? “So what happens if I do stay?” You inquire. “You become the lady of the ship - cooking and cleaning and what not and I’ll buy yer nice things and I’ll be your live-in partner, like we’re courting but we’re married - but not being married, you understand?” He stresses the fact you wouldn’t be married. You smile at him. “Give me a second to think about it.” “Take as much time as you want.” He puts a hand on your shoulder in a gentle way and then walks off to talk to Will. So, what would it be? Since you were a little girl you’d dreamed of getting married and raising children - should you throw all of that out of the window because of one man? Your dreams of having a real family, should you let them melt away - was he worth it? How likely was it that, if you were back home alone, a man would come by and sweep you off your feet as well as Jack did, especially now as Jack had already done it. You weren’t sacred anymore, you weren’t promised to anyone anymore. This was as good as it got, it had to be. But these people weren’t a family to you. They ignored you and cast you dirty glances and the frisky men were a little too friendly with you for your liking. Could you ever live a happy life surrounded by them? Jack could, but he was like them. Will could, but how well did you know Will? But then again, how well did you know Jack? Maybe one day you’d have children. They’d be bastards but you would love them just the same, raise them as best as you could - but to what avail? A life of piracy and sin? That would secure their fate as minions of Satan - could you do that to them? No doubt Jack would take a part in their upbringing, which was worse, for if you did try to teach them morals and ethics surely that would be hopeless with Jack encouraging their lies and bad deeds? And Jack himself - could you live with him? He was the first man you’d felt feelings this strongly for and perhaps one day you could grow to truly love him, it was possible. You were sure that now you were more familiar with each other there would be no more tossing you out of the ship and locking you away in a cell. It would be real - a husband without the law. Who says you need to get married anyway? You’re just an animal, on earth to reproduce by happy accident. You had made your decision. You walk up to Jack who turns around sensing the urgency of the situation. You look at Will, standing expectedly with his arms folded across his chest. This was it. You had to tell him and there was no turning back. “I’ll stay.” No sooner had the words left your lips they were replaced by Jack’s warm kiss. You were a member of the crew, at last. THE END |