CHAPTER 6

You are awoken abruptly the next morning by a loud rapping on the cabin door. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes you smile as Gibbs comes in, laden with another tray of food. "Mornin'" He says, placing the tray in your lap as you sit up.

"Morning." You greet him warmly.

"Just porridge today I'm afraid, we're a bit low on supplies now. I was hoping to bring you a nice farewell brekkie but to no avail." He sighs at this comment, but you give him a hopefully reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about it. My meals here have been absolutely splendid so far, I wouldn't have expected so much to be honest. Thank you." You eat the porridge and drink from a tankard of water that Gibbs had also brought in.

"We shall be going into port in about an hour." He says, and you definitely detect a hint of sadness in his tone. "I shall miss ye lass." He continues, never looking at your face, but staring down at his hands.

"And I you Gibbs." You push the tray of food aside and embrace the man; he seems a little startled by it, but hugs you back nonetheless. You feel tears starting to brim, and quickly blink them away as you pull apart.

"I'll let ye get ready now, I shall see you out on deck." Gibbs says, walking towards the door. With a small wave he leaves, and you feel an awful lump come to your throat as you think about how you wont be able to see the kindly old man any more. You spend a few more minutes eating the porridge, and once you have finished you place the tray on the floor. You remove the diary from its hiding place and walk to the table and sit down. Taking a quill and dipping it in the ink you begin to write on a new blank page:

'Dear Emily, I am to be leaving the Pearl today, and I must say I am quite saddened by it, it feels like a home to me, and everyone feels like family, especially Gibbs. I shall miss them all terribly, but at least now I can start my life again in Port Jacob. I have enough money I hope to rent a small apartment, and I can start working somewhere, as a shop assistant, or a cleaner, or a cook. I don't mind what I do, as long as its not in a brothel or tavern. I don't ever want to return to one of those places again and have men leer all over me, it makes me feel so dirty, I don't feel like a woman when I leave those places, I feel like a piece of meat. I want to scrub my skin ferociously with soap and a hard brush, to remove the grime and filth that seems to cling to me. I want to burn all my clothes and just get rid of everything that reminds me of those places. Hopefully Port Jacob shan't be like that though, I will find out soon enough. This can only be a short entry Emily, for I am to leave in a little while. I really wish that I could repay all the crew here for being so kind, but I do not know how, and as for Jack's insinuations as to how I could repay him, well they're not far off the implications the dirty pigs back at the brothel would make. I really had started liking him, and I do still really, he isn't all that bad, and he has treated me well. He may be a bit flirtatious and crude for my liking, but he seems to be a generally good man. I had better go now Emily, I shall talk to you soon.'

With that you shut the book and get up. You change into one of the other dresses Anamaria had brought you, this time a dusky pink outfit, simple in design with no frills or lace. There were a few sewn patterns into the bodice, but nothing overly extravagant or intricate. The skirt was long, as was customary, and it did have a couple of petticoats underneath, but nothing to make it look bulky in any way. The sleeves were off the shoulder and short, and the neckline was in a slight v – shape, accentuating your breasts which seemed to have been pushed rather high and tight as the bodice was slightly too small. You run a comb through your hair and gaze at your reflection in the large mirror atop of the mahogany bureau as your slightly curled tresses hang down loosely around your shoulders, the colour really emphasising the green of your eyes.

Happy with the overall effect of the outfit you put on a pair of small dainty shoes, also a dusky pink in colour, obviously intended to go with the dress. Taking one last glance in the mirror you pick up your diary and the bundle of clothes that Anamaria had brought you, and head out of the cabin door onto the deck. Looking back into the cabin you give a small wave, a farewell to the place that had been your home for the past week or so. Looking up at the sky dark ominous clouds still cover it, threatening to burst down upon the world with the force of a malevolent God. You hear your name being called and you turn to face the direction of the voice. You are greeted by Gibbs smiling face, and you walk over to him, your diary clasped tightly under your arm and your bag of clothes in your hand.

"Well, I suppose it is time to bid you farewell lass." He says as you meet him, placing an arm around your shoulder. "I shall be taking you across now, Anamaria's goin' to come with us, and so is the Captain, don't know where he's got to though..."

"Right then, are we ready to go across?" a loud voice suddenly calls from behind you making you jump. You turn around to see Jack scowling at you all. You furrow your eyebrows quizzically, what bit his arse this morning? "Milady, 'tis time for you to be leaving us here on the Black Pearl." He says to you, ignoring your puzzled expression. Deciding it would be best not to question him at this time though you just smile and nod. "Come on now, into the boats!" he barks, and you, Gibbs, Anamaria and Jack himself get in, followed by a couple of the other members of the crew who you hadn't met. The boat is lowered shakily into the water off the side of the ship, and as Gibbs takes the oars you watch sadly as you pull further and further away. Silently you say farewell and turn back to face Port Jacob, now to be your new home.

The crew chat idly to each other on the short journey towards the Port. You don't say anything, you just sit in silence, occasionally looking back to the Pearl as she grows smaller and smaller in the distance. As you reach the docks Anamaria, Jack and Gibbs get out, chucking some money (probably counterfeit) to the harbourmaster. Jack graciously stretches his hand to you and you take it, letting him help you out of the little rowing boat, which seems to rock precariously at the slightest of movements. As you step forward it seems to rock just that little bit too much and you go flying forward, luckily into Jacks arms. He lets out a loud "Oof!" as you collide.

"Well if ye wanted me to take you in my arms then you just had to ask!" he says with a wink, but you cant help from blushing furiously as you think how close to the mark that actually is. You can't really dwell on that now though, you're going to be leaving and you're never going to see him again. It seems strange but you almost feel like crying. He annoyed you so much before, yet there's something about him, something that you long for, when you were with him, however briefly that was, you felt whole, you didn't feel so alone. You back out of his arms and just smile at him.

"Well, I would like to thank you all for your hospitality towards me, you have been ever so kind." You begin, facing Anamaria, Gibbs and Jack. You look to Anamaria, and she looks back at you, smiling a bit uncomfortably. You give her a massive hug which she returns, although awkwardly. "See, no need for formalities." You say nudging her.

"Aye, ye look after yerself... and those dresses." She replies grinning.

"Thanks." You say. You can see she isn't all too comfortable saying goodbye, particularly in front of Jack and Gibbs, but that's not surprising, she has to keep her fearsome status. You turn to Gibbs and envelop him in a big squeeze. "Thank you the most." You whisper. "Thanks for being so nice and ultimately, thanks for saving my life!" As you pull away you see that Gibbs dirty skin has got a faint tinge of red to it.

"S'all right luv, just doing what any other good man would do."

"But there aren't many good men, so I am glad you were there."

"Aye, aye pet. Now be on your way." Gibbs pushes you away from him gently and you turn to Jack.

"Captain, I am also very grateful to you for your hospitality, thank you for all your kindness." You begin, and have to try as hard as you can to stop tears from welling in your eyes.

"S'all right, didn't exactly have much choice in the matter did I!"

"Well..."

"Ye never did get to entertain me either..." he gives you another suggestive wink and you feel your cheeks go crimson. You smile and nod, stuck for anything else to say, and place your arms around Jack's shoulders lightly, pulling him to you. How you wish you could stay there, embraced by the warmth of his body, how you wish you could kiss him now, just relent to all your feelings and kiss him with all the passion that you have held in your heart yet denied. Jack hugs you back awkwardly but finally breaks the moment. "I guess ye did want me to take ye in my arms after all." He says looking deep into your eyes with his own dark, chocolaty, kohl rimmed ones.

You feel like your legs have turned to jelly and you are just going to sink to the floor. "Well, we've got work to do and taverns to visit." Jack suddenly calls startling you. You see he isn't talking to you though but is eyeing the rest of his crew who have just arrived in some more rowing boats.

"Don't mean to be pushy luv but we gotta get to work, I have some rum to buy and drink!" He gives you another small smile and you nod. You wave to everyone and start to head away, thinking about what you are going to do, where you are going to go... come to think of it, you have no idea. With one last glance back to the crew you walk up what seems to be the main street, eyeing the shops and places around you.

Eventually you come to a tavern that doesn't seem too seedy and although you hadn't planned on stepping inside a tavern ever again, it was the only place so far that had a sign saying "rooms to rent". Walking in the door everyone turns to face you.

"Can I 'elp ye luv," a loud and rough voice calls to you. You look across the tavern to see the owner of said voice and come across a rather tall man, with large upturned whiskers. His belly protrudes greatly, and his eyes are small and squinty, but he doesn't look horrible in anyway, he looks like a big squishy walrus. You have to stifle a laugh as you see him, and just smile at the man.

"I am looking to rent a place to stay." You say, heading towards the man. You come to a halt as you reach the bar and you sit down on one of the stools.

"Ah, well we have a couple of rooms going spare, how long are ye plannin' on stayin' for?"

"I don't know, a couple of nights, but I might be staying permanently." You reply sighing. You truly hadn't thought about what you were going to do, you had felt so at home on the Black Pearl, and now... now you just don't know.

"Permanent accommodation aye? Well we don't take lodgers here, so if you are looking for that I would go up the road to Madame Boaveus, she has a boarding house."

"Right, well I am not sure about what I am going to be doing yet, so I would like to stay here for the night if I may." The man nods and you sit talking to him after buying yourself a drink, discussing the fees and what not. A couple of hours pass and you ask if you can go see your room. The man whose name you have learnt to be Arthur indicates for you to follow him and you do so.

"Ye got any luggage?" he asks, eyeing the area you were sat at.

"Oh, no, not really just these." You reply, patting the diary you had clutched under your arm and nodding towards the bag of clothes. Arthur nods and leads you up a set of stairs. You follow him and he shows you to a small bedroom. Walking through the door you can see that the room is quite basic, dull beige walls, a mid-sized bed against a wall, a small bureau in the corner and a small table next to the bed. A few candles are set out on shelves around the room, and a faded painting of what looks like an old woman hangs on the wall opposite the bed.

"Home sweet home" you whisper, eyeing the décor in distaste, then again, you are not going to be staying here long, just the night hopefully, and then you will look into where you will go after that, maybe you will go to Madame Boaveus" or maybe you will barter passage to England like you had planned. After your original idea of sneaking over there, and the consequences of that, you feel that it might be best if you pay.

"Well, I have to get back downstairs. You're in time for dinner if ye want it, it's at 8 o'clock." Arthur says interrupting your musings, you nod gratefully and watch as he heads back downstairs. You place the bundle of clothes on the floor and sit down on the bed with your diary. Glancing quickly you know that you are going to have to write a new entry, an entry to say goodbye to the Pearl, goodbye to Anamaria, goodbye to Gibbs, and goodbye to Jack.

* * * * *

CHAPTER 7

For the past hour or so you have been lying on your bed, just thinking about life, love... Jack. Ending your reverie, you walk across the room, looking at an old mantle clock that sits on top of the bureau. You see that it is almost 8 o'clock, and from the sound of your stomachs grumbles you are very, very hungry. An appetizing aroma seems to be drawing you out of the door and down the stairs, and as you follow it you can feel your mouth start to water. You had had no lunch, and your last meal had been the porridge on the Pearl that Gibbs had brought you... Gibbs. Oh you do miss the man already, he was so sweet and kindly, you have him to thank for your life, and yet you had never been able to thank him properly, and now that you were here, you didn't think it was likely that you could ever repay his kindness. It had only been a few hours since you saw Gibbs, Anamaria and indeed Jack, but you felt lost without them, they had been your family for the past few days, and now, they were gone.

Sighing heavily you head into the tavern, noticing that half of the room had a couple of large tables set out with plates and tankards, obviously set up for dinner, and the other half of the room remains looking like a regular tavern with the same old stools around the smaller tables. Heading towards a large table that currently resides unoccupied at the back of the room you sit down against the back wall, the best view to watch what else is going on. There isn't much though, just the regular tavern type crowd; men all dirty and drunk hang around chortling and drinking, whilst young women dressed in very low-cut dresses and powder galore giggle and squirm in their laps. A few groups of men sit towards the edges, whispering and looking around them to check no one is listening, probably planning some kind of adventure or escapade, up to no good no doubt. As you sit watching, a rather rotund woman approaches you with a large saucepan, a saucepan which seems to be seeping with the gorgeous aroma you had smelled upstairs.

"Y'alright luv?" she says as she stands next to you, a large grin on her face that makes her look quite affectionate and maternal, you warm to her instantly. "Arthur said you would probably be down, said you didn't look too happy when ye came in, anything wrong?" she continues as she pours some of the contents of the saucepan into a large bowl in front of you. You look at it hungrily, and are incredibly eager to tuck in, but you know you must not be rude and ignore the woman, as much as your stomach wants to.

"No, I'm fine... I just had to say goodbye to some friends, that's all." You say turning to her with a smile.

"Ah, 'tis always hard saying goodbye, I used to hate it when Arthur would go out on his trips, used to be a merchant sailor, we were so in love, still are, and he would leave and I wouldn't know when or even if he were comin' back, been married sixteen years now, and am only glad that he has stopped sailing, now I never have to say goodbye." Her warm smile never falters, and neither does her voice apparently. "Yes, he just runs the tavern now with me, I used to work in one of the shops down the road when he were sailing, but when he had to stop – he got all ill ye see, some kind of fever, dunno what it was, I've not much of a medical mind, but he got a bit better when he came back – we decided to start up this tavern here, and it's the best bloody one in Port Jacob even if I do say so myself..."

"It's the only bloody tavern in Port Jacob!" a voice says from behind the woman which makes you jump. You cannot see the owner of the voice as the woman is rather blocking the view, but you have a strange sense of recognition, yes... yes it must be!

"Jack Sparrow!" the woman cries, quickly placing the boiling saucepan full of something you have guessed to be beef stew on the table, before turning around and grabbing a rather startled Jack into her arms, pressing him right into her profound bosom. "Jack Sparrow I told ye, ye had to stop by, and that was bloody near on three years ago!" she continued, still not relenting her firm grip on Jack. His grin seems to be taking up his whole face but his brows are starting to furrow and he almost looks panicked after a while.

"Rosa, I... can't... breathe." He manages to get out, you can see he has started turning a bit red in the face, but his tanned skin comes back as Rosa quickly does as he asked, grinning even more so than Jack was.

"Well, ye deserved that boy; I say ye did, ye were supposed to stop by and ye didn't! She says glaring at him, but the grin is still spread wide across her lips.

"Well ye know how it is, I've had things going on, villages to ravage, things to plunder, treasures to find..." he trails off at the last part, his eyes fixated upon you, you can detect a small glint in his eyes, but can't tell what it means, if anything. "Well, I thought I was rid of ye, and now I find you here gassing away to ol" Rosa."

"I ain't old!" Rosa exclaims, jabbing Jack hard in the ribs with a stubby finger. He winces slightly but not much and turns to her with a charming smile.

"Oh I know luv, ye don't look a day over twenty!" At this Rosa blushes ferociously, but she seems to know him well, and simply gives him a light slap upside the head.

"Now ye just bein' silly, ye know I am almost fifty!"

"Fifty! No, ye never! Honestly, I thought ye were thirty at most!"

"Aw, ye such a charmer Jack, not surprised ye know this little one here, pretty thing she is too..." the last part was uttered in hushed tones but even that is loud for the woman. "Anyway, I take it ye be stoppin' for ye dinner boy, I won't take no for an answer!" she continues, almost shoving Jack into a seat next to you.

"Aye, aye I will, wouldn't leave Port Jacob without having one of your fine meals in my belly!" Jack chuckles as she ladles some of the steaming stew into a bowl in front of him.

"Ye gettin' skinny boy, ye need some meat on ye so eat up, there'll be more when that's finished!" with that she finishes filling Jacks bowl to the brim and heads of chuckling to herself, muttering something about men being too skinny for the likes of her.

"So, ye staying here are ye?" Jack asks whilst digging into the steaming hot stew. You dig into your own hungrily and take a rather large and unladylike mouthful before replying.

"Yup, I'm staying here tonight, not sure what I'm going to do after that, thought I might try and get a job around here somewhere."

"He he, ye could always work for Rosa, she's a lovely lady, larger than life some might say, but she's great, very caring."

"Hmm, I'm not sure if I could ever work in a tavern again, I promised myself I wouldn't, not after what happened before, not after the way it made me feel."

"What do ye mean?" Jack stops eating and faces you, an eyebrow raised quizzically, his eyes soft and deep, as though they are looking right through into your soul, trying to work out your answer.

"I just... I felt dirty, being there, among all those men and all those whores. The men would always try to touch me, would grab me and make me sit in their laps as they whispered crude comments in my ear, I felt degraded, I didn't feel like a woman, I didn't even feel like a human being." As you utter the sentence your voice gets quieter and quieter until it's almost a whisper. Jack places a tanned, calloused hand on your shoulder gently, and absently brushes a few stray hairs away as he looks at you, determining what he is going to say next. The simple feel of his touch, the gentle way his fingers brush upon your skin so gently sends shivers right through your body, and you have to try with all your might to stop the shiver from being noticed by him. An awkward silence ensues and you stare down at your hands, not able to look at Jack, you feel as though you would fall into his eyes if you looked into them, and you know where you would be falling... in love.

"Luv," Jack says quietly, still stroking the bare skin of your shoulder. You still do not look up, and are relieved when his hand is removed from your shoulder. However you flinch once again as Jack brings his hand to your face, resting his fingers lightly on your jaw, turning your head gently to face him.

"Luv, you know no one in the world has the right to make you feel like that, no one. You are a beautiful woman, and men often mistake beauty for a woman being... easy, I know, and although it may not seem that reassuring to you, I know that you are beautiful, but I also know that you are decent, and respectable, you're a better woman than any I have ever met."

You look at him, your heart pounding in your chest, his words were so beautiful, they were exactly what you wanted and needed to hear. You find yourself captivated in his gaze, and you know that if something doesn't happen now you're going to have to kiss him, you long for it too badly that you don't think you will be able to stop yourself. You can see that Jack feels the same too, as his gaze flicks momentarily to your lips, and he licks his own hungrily. That small movement was the last straw for you, and you feel yourself moving into him, still gazing deeply into his dark chocolaty eyes...

"Ye finished ye stew boy! I told ye there would be more!" a loud voice booms from behind you and you jump startled, as does Jack, quickly removing his hand from where it had been resting on your face. Rosa doesn't seem to have noticed anything though and continues to top up your half empty bowls with more stew. "Is ye crew going to be in later? Ol' Joshamee Gibbs better be comin' in or I'll have his guts for garters, really I will, my last ones snapped last night." You turn to Jack and see that he has astoundingly quickly regained his composure, although you feel as though your cheeks are on fire and your heart is actually going to burst at any second.

"Of course he'll be in! He knows just as well as I do that ye can't come to Port Jacob without visiting you Rosa!"

"Good good, I take it ye've got 'im off doin' some back breakin' chore for ye, aye? I know ye boy, and I know ye drive him hard! He always looks so tired when he comes in, ye should let him rest!" Rosa's tone seems to have gotten slightly sterner but Jack seems to be oblivious to this, and carries on in his usual dismissive manner, eyes bright with unvoiced laughter.

"Yep, I crack the whip hard!" he replies, and you are almost scared that Rosa is going to get angry, but as you feel your cheeks cool down so that you deem yourself ready to turn to her, you can see that she is wearing the same big grin as she was earlier. "Ye know me Rosa, I'm a Captain now, and people, Gibbs in particular, respect their Captain's wishes, he's a great man, trustworthy, loyal... speak of the devil! Gibbs! Look who I found, and who found me!" Jack calls across the tavern and you look to where Jack's gaze seems to be pointed. There stands Gibbs, slightly red in the face and wheezing lightly, but you can see his tired and weary expression break into one of much more joviality when he sees Jack, Rosa and yourself.

"Don't just stand there, man!" Rosa calls across the tavern; bustling over in Gibbs direction her arms wide, ready to envelope him in a large embrace. She grabs Gibbs and squeezes him tightly and you have to laugh at the poor man struggling to get free from the much larger and apparently much stronger woman. Eventually she relents and allows him to come and sit with you and Jack, also shoving a bowl of hot stew under his nose and practically sticking the spoon in his mouth for him.

"Eat up! Jack says ye've been workin' 'ard, so get some food in ye!" With that she gives him an almighty pat on the shoulder, which sends him forward slightly but he just grins and laughs as she walks away to the kitchen. You can hear her yelling at some poor sod in there, but can't actually make out what she's saying which is quite a surprise.

"So Gibbs, I take it everything has gotten onto the ship ok?" Jack asks, turning to Gibbs. Gibbs nods and eats some of the stew before looking to Jack and replying.

"Yep, everything ye asked for is in the hull, and all the food is in the galley, all that's left is the rum."

"Aye, aye, good good, and I shall be seeing to the rum later, have to get plenty of it, its going to be a long journey to England, they say the weather ain't gonna be too good..." your ears prick up as you hear what he has said.

"England?" you inquire looking intently at Jack. "Did you say you were going to England?"

"We are indeed luv, got some business to settle with an old err... acquaintance." Your heart is lifted and you feel a plan coming to mind, maybe you could go to England after all, and not only that, but you could spend the journey with Jack, Anamaria and Gibbs!

"Could I come?" you ask quickly, and are quite surprised when Jack splutters the stew he had just put in his mouth.

"What would you want to come for?!" he asks incredulously.

"I originally planned to go to England, oh please Jack, let me come, I won't get in the way I promise, I'll pay, I'll help out, whatever you want!"

"Whatever I want?" he asks, a suggestive grin on his face.

"Within reason Captain." You say feeling your cheeks start to turn red again.

"Well we have enough crewmembers on board, but I would never say no to a paying passenger, especially you..."

"So then I can come?" you ask, making sure that you could indeed stay with him and the crew on the Black Pearl.

"Aye, we have an accord." At that you grab Jack tightly and give him a massive hug, you couldn't have been happier!

"Oh Jack, thank you! I promise you won't regret it, I won't get in your way, and I will help out as much as I can, cook, clean... oh thank you!" you only let go of him when he tentatively places his hands on your shoulders, gently forcing you away from him. When you look at him though there is a smile on his face.

"What say ye Gibbs, ye get ye daughter back!" Jack says turning to Gibbs. Gibbs blushes at this comment but nods.

"Aye, shall be grand!" he says, looking at you and smiling. It was indeed like you were going to be with your father once more, and even if he wasn't your biological father, he had been much kinder to you than your real father had in all your life.

"Good! Drinks all around! Rosa!" Jack calls, and Rosa comes bustling over. The rest of the evening is spent making plans for the next day when you shall be setting sail for the coasts of Western England. You are to stay in the tavern the night as planned, and shall be leaving with the Black Pearl the very next morning. Throughout the evening the rest of the crew arrive, including Anamaria who also seems quite happy that you are to be accompanying them on the journey, although she doesn't show it that much. You drink rum and are generally merry, laughing and joking. You feel happier than you have ever felt in a long time, and you are thanking God himself that you shan't have to say goodbye to your good friends for a long time!

* * * * *

CHAPTER 8

After a rather uncomfortable and short nights sleep in your room above the tavern you awake, a smile instantly spreading across your lips. The evening had been full of laughter and merriment, and you couldn't help chuckling at the thought of some of the incidents. You remember Rosa being rather tipsy, and after a while it seemed that her needs as a woman got the better of her and she dragged Arthur off to the bedroom, he seemed slightly worried by the sudden order to get to bed, but he followed her meekly as she pulled him along by the wrist, smiling all the way. They were in love, and it was a fantastic sight to see. It made you think of Jonathan, and that saddened you slightly, but the dolour had lifted and you were in high-spirits once again as Gibbs regaled you with a tale about sea serpents and purple monkeys he had encountered once on a voyage from South Africa to the West Indies. How true the story was, was indeed questionable, but all the same it made everyone laugh as he portrayed a fight between him and one of the said monkeys, his hands flailing so much that it would have made Jack proud if he himself hadn't been laughing so heartily that he had had to close his eyes.

You had returned to your room before anyone else, wishing them all a good night and promising to be up at the crack of dawn, ready to set sail. You had stayed awake for a while before going to sleep and had written in your diary, detailing the upcoming events to Emily. Reading through it the next morning you could not decipher it all as your writing had become rather untidy, and you seemed to be stumbling over your words a bit, after all, you had been a bit tipsy after having some of the rum Jack had eagerly provided you with. Letting out a small laugh as you finish reading you get out of bed and put on your dress from yesterday. You remember when you were at home how you had never even thought of wearing the same dress two days running, that would have been disgusting and unrespectable, but here, here it was normal, and due to the fact that you didn't have many clothes, it was necessary. A sharp rapping at your door sounds as you wash your face with a cloth and some water in a bowl on top of the bureau.

"Can I come in?" a female voice calls, and you instantly know that it is Rosa, her voice is easy to distinguish from any other woman's in the place, not that there were many other women in the tavern who would talk to you.

"Sure." You say lightly, going to the door and opening it, greeting the sizable woman with a warm smile. "What can I do for you? I believe I paid Arthur yesterday, I did didn't I?"

"Oh no, no, I mean yes ye did pay him, but that wasn't what I'm 'ere for."

"Oh, then what can I do? Do you need some help with something, I"d be happy to assist you, although I am not sure what I could do, I am not the greatest of cooks, but I would try my best..." You trail off as Rosa holds up a hand for you to stop, but she has the same grin on her face as always.

"No, no luv, I don't need your 'elp, no, I was just wondering if I could 'elp you actually. Ye see I have a load of old clothes that I've been meanin' to get rid of, haven't worn "em in years, and Arthur said ye didn't have much luggage with ye, so I thought ye might be able to use 'em."

She smiles as she notes your questioning expression, the woman was much larger than you; did she expect you to be able to wear her clothes? "Oh don't worry luv, I'm not implying that yer the same size as me, not a hope in hell, yer a skinny little thing, whereas I... well Arthur likes to call me pleasantly plump. I was skinny like you though once upon a time, and those clothes are from them days, so I think they should fit ye well. I was gonna give "em to my daughters, some beautiful dresses they are, but I never "ad any, only "ad a son and "e died when he was but a bairn, but they wouldn't have been much good to 'im even if he had lived..." you see her eyes start to fill with tears, she was obviously still grieving for the child, and you found an empathy towards her, she had felt loss the same as you had when you lost Jonathan, and it sounded as though her child may have died under similar circumstances.

"Anyway, would ye like 'em, I could bring 'em straight to ye now if ye want." She said, quickly rubbing her eyes. "Hay fever, bloody hay fever," she mutters to you, but you don't believe it, it was nearing winter and you didn't think there would be much pollen in the air, particularly not in your room.

"Oh yes please, that would be very helpful, I'm fast running out of clothes and I don't know how long the trip to England is going to take, nor do I believe they have particularly wonderful washing facilities on board." You say with a smile, trying to show that you're not going to make her go into detail about her son, it would have been wrong, and she was obviously upset by the matter.

She nods and steps out of your room, going down the hallway. You continue washing and do your hair up into a pretty coiffure, not five minutes later Rosa returns, arms laden with several dresses, and a sack of what seems to be shoes grasped in her hand. Taking one of the dresses off of her you hold it against you, looking down at the beautiful fabric. It was much richer than you thought it would be, and you can't help gazing at the beautiful intricate details sewn into the dress, many tiny decorative pearls lining the bodice itself in a beautiful pattern. The material is a deep, dark magenta, which seems to shimmer with blue as it sways in the light, making the pearls look like a constellation of stars against a deep night sky.

"Oh Rosa, it's absolutely beautiful!" you exclaim, twirling around with the dress still in your arms, watching the skirts material move with you.

"Made that meself, that one I ne'er wore. It was supposed to be for my daughters eighteenth birthday, I always wanted a little girl, and made all these plans and this dress even before I got pregnant. After my boy died though... well I didn't want to try again, I couldn't take another loss like that..." she trails off and looks at you holding the dress. You feel sorry for the woman, she is so kind and maternal, and you know she would have made a great mother. "Anyway, I'll put the rest of these dresses on the bed for ye, there's an extra sack inside this one that you can put 'em in. If there's any that ye don't want just bring them to me when ye come down for ye breakfast, I won't mind, I know that fashions change o'er the years." She says quickly, knowing that a silence would have consumed you both after she had spoken about her son's death and her want for a daughter. With that she places the sack of shoes on the floor next to you and turns to leave.

"Rosa?" you quickly appeal. She turns to you, a smile still on her lips, although it seems to have faded slightly.

"Yes luv?"

"Thank you." You say simply, placing the dress down on the bed and walking to Rosa, arms outstretched. You embrace her warmly, and she returns it, squeezing you gently. You could love this woman as a mother if you got to know her more; she was so amiable. She nods her head lightly and walks out the door, closing it behind her.

Looking back at the beautiful dress you know that it is very special, and because of that, you know you shall only ever wear it on the most momentous of occasions. Folding it up neatly you place it inside a sack which you find in the bag of shoes as Rosa had indicated. Looking through the other dresses you find some more beautiful ones, but they are all generally for everyday wear, which you are glad of. You also find some nightgowns and a couple of overcoats, and the shoes in the other sack all still look like they have a lot of wear left in them. Folding all the clothes away you smile at the fact that you entered with just a single sack of clothes, and now you would be leaving with three. Among the dresses there wasn't a single one which you wouldn"t wear, fashions hadn't changed that much.

Smiling contentedly at your new and rather profound wardrobe you pick up your belongings and head downstairs, remembering the diary and tucking it tightly under your arm. There was no way you were going to leave that behind, not now that it had some of your deepest feelings and thoughts in it, much of the last particularly long entry being about Jack and your almost kiss the previous evening. That almost kiss had certainly beaten the one before, Jack had actually seemed like he would have relented to the kiss this time, in fact, he seemed to want it just as badly as you did. As much as you loved Rosa she certainly had a thing about impeccable timing!

Entering the tavern you see that the large tables from the previous night are being laid out for breakfast, it was still quite early for most of the people in the tavern to be up, as it was only 5 o'clock. You see that Jack and his crew are already eating, Anamaria deep in a conversation, which seems rather one sided on her part, with Gibbs, who looks rather flustered as she pointedly waves her hands expressing what seems to be anger. Walking over to them you sit down opposite the bickering pair, only to be greeted just seconds later with a large bowl of steaming scrambled eggs and toast in front of your nose.

"Eat up luv!" Rosa says, back to her normal vivacious self. You take a mouthful gingerly, your stomach feeling slightly queasy after the previous nights drinking habits. Jack notices your cautious eating, and gives you a knowing smile, making your stomach lurch for a completely different reason to your alcohol consumption. You smile back and carefully proceed to pick at the food, pushing it around on the plate somewhat before taking a bite, and chewing it for what seemed like an age before swallowing, a motion which you found rather difficult.

"So, ye all set for the journey?" Anamaria asks, a large grin on her face showing that she must have won the argument, this fact is confirmed by Gibbs' dejected expression.

"Yep, all set and raring to go!" you reply eagerly with a quick reassuring smile to Gibbs who smiles back. "So, what were you two arguing about?"

"Arguing? We weren't arguing, I was just... convincing Gibbs that I am right, as always." Anamaria says laughing. You can't restrain the chuckle and you find it surfacing, making you choke on the most recent mouthful of scrambled egg you had taken. A large and heavy thump on the back from Jack brings you back to your senses, and you glare at him, he had been quite rough. However he just smiles, and rubs your back gently, a feeling that whilst being welcome, made you feel quite awkward.

"Thank you." You mutter and Jack nods, removing his hand and returning to a conversation he was having with another crewmember.

Breakfast passed rather uneventfully, the tavern started to fill once again as people came down from their rooms, hungry and hungover, looking for a good meal. As you finish breakfast you help Rosa to clear the tables, trying in some small way to show your gratitude for all her help and care. Eventually everything is ready, and Jack has informed everyone that they shall be taking several of the taverns finest barrels of rum back to the Pearl, as well as many of the bottles. Giving Rosa a firm squeeze goodbye, and promising that you'll take good care of her boys (Gibbs and Jack) you pick up your sacks and diary and head towards the door. You shake Arthur's hand gratefully and he gives you a warm smile as you get to the door.

"Be good luv, and if ye can't be good be careful." He says with a grin. You grin back and see a mischievous glint in his eye, you have an odd feeling people have been talking about you, and when you turn to where Rosa was standing you see her saying something quietly and forcefully to Jack, her expression quite fierce. He glances over to you quickly but looks back to Rosa when he sees you watching, and you can"t help but wonder what is being said with such earnest. He nods his head eagerly and gives her a hug, then heads over to you, bottles of rum clasped in his arms.

"Ye ready to go then?" he asks as he reaches you. You nod and give everyone a quick wave goodbye as you step out the door into the sunlight. Now that it's nearing winter it is no longer particularly warm, but being in the Caribbean its not all that cold either. You head down the street with Jack, the rest of the crew including Gibbs and Anamaria having left earlier with the bottles and barrels of rum. You keep to the side roads, as although Port Jacob isn't the biggest of places, it still has officials and navy officers guarding the place, wandering around looking for pirates and other such scallywags. You finally make it to the docks and you get into the one remaining rowing boat with Jack, placing your bundles of clothing around your feet and clasping the diary tightly to your chest. As Jack starts to row your curiosity gets the better of you, and you have just got to ask the question that played upon your mind.

"What were you and Rosa talking about earlier?" you inquire, trying to detect any kind of flicker of emotion from Jack, but his reaction is cool and collected.

"When's that luv?" he says nonchalantly.

"Earlier, just before we left. She was saying something and you were agreeing, and you looked at me..." you trail off slightly, thinking about how childish it was. Why would they be saying anything out of the ordinary, anyway, just because Jack had looked at you, it didn't mean they were talking about you.

"Oh... then. Yes, well she was just telling me about the clothes that she gave you, checking that it were alright and everything to have the extra luggage on board. Also inquired where you were sleeping." At the last part he raises an eyebrow suggestively, but releases the motion as you glare at him.

"And where will I be sleeping Captain?" you ask.

"You'll be bunking in with Anamaria; I do believe she has another hammock in her cabin, she being the only one except meself with her own room." You smile, glad that you weren't going to be thrown in with the male members of the crew, as lovely as they were you had also noticed they had some habits that you didn't appreciate. You don't talk much on the rest of the journey to the Pearl, it only takes a couple of minutes anyway, and as the boat is lifted out of the water and up to the side of the ship you step onto the deck of the Black Pearl, unable to contain the large grin at the overwhelming sensation of feeling at home at last.

"Welcome back luv." Jack says as he follows you onto the deck, passing your bundles to you and then picking up the bottles of rum. You stand there looking around the ship, the crew are all smiling, even Anamaria who usually wears a rather grumpy don't-mess-with-me frown upon her face. "I do believe that this calls for a small celebration!" Jack says loudly, looking around at the crew who cheer at the prospect of a knees-up. "And you my dear, shall be entertaining us with that beautiful singing voice of yours!" he continues, his eyes now fixated upon your own.

A familiar shiver runs down your spine as you look at him, but it ceases as he speaks again, and you silently thank the lord that the shiver wasn't a noticeable one. "Well, get about working you mangy dogs, we shall still be setting sail now, and shall have the party on the way, we need to leave quickly to avoid the upcoming storms which seem to be awaiting on the horizon."

You look out across the ship to the said horizon but see nothing but blue sky. You do not question the Captain though, for what do you know about the weather out at sea. As the crew scurry about setting to their tasks, Jack turns to you once more.

"Better go get settled in luv, Anamaria will show you the way." He pats you on the shoulder lightly and then turns and heads towards the helm. Anamaria is beside you in seconds, grasping your wrist and pulling you apparently towards her, nay your cabin.

"Not a lot for you to do, so I would just stay in the cabin and make yourself comfortable." She says as she leads you through a door. It is not dissimilar to Jack's in format, but is in no way near as luxuriously decorated. Two hammocks hang from the ceiling, swaying gently from side to side as the ship rocks on the waves. There is a large bureau in the middle of the room, but it seems to be unused as you spot a large comfy chair sitting in the corner, Anamaria's clothes draped over it.

"Ye'll have a lot more use for it than I do I'm sure." She says, noticing where your gaze is pointed. You give her a smile and she pats you on the back, it seemed as though that was customary for pirates and the likes. "Well, I had better get about me chores before Jack has a hissy fit."

You laugh as the image of Jack having a tantrum forms in your minds eye, and Anamaria chuckles to herself too. Leaving you alone in the cabin Anamaria sets about whatever task it is she's been set, and you start to take the clothes out of the sacks and carefully place them in the bureau, taking special care of the dress Rosa had made. Thinking about it carefully you decide that you shall wear one of your new dresses tonight at the party. The party! Suddenly the prospect dawns on you, they actually want you to sing! As much as you enjoy singing in front of people, and you know that you have a good voice, the proposal was quite daunting, especially as you know that Jack is going to be watching. Sighing you sit down heavily on the bed, and although you are quite apprehensive of the coming evenings events, you felt happier than you had done in a long time.

* * * * *

CHAPTER 9

You have been out at sea for a few hours now, and after placing your clothes inside the bureau in your cabin you get changed into one of the new dresses, in readiness for the evenings festivities. The dress you have chosen is of a pale blue colour, relatively simple in design, but with a few pieces of white lace around the short, off the shoulder sleeves, the hem and neckline. Looking at the bodice you can see a tiny pattern of birds and ivy sewn in, and if you look ever so carefully, the birds look like sparrows, dancing through the leaves. You smile as the birds make you think of Jack, and you remember the almost kiss you had had the other night. You had wanted it so much, and you still did, but you can't help wondering if it might have been for the best. If you had kissed things may have led on further, and where would you have stood in the Captains eyes, would you just be some hussy that he had picked up, worth no more than the common whores on the street?

Sighing at the thought you pick up your diary, planning to write down your thoughts for the day, your feelings on the upcoming voyage, and indeed your questions on why Rosa and Jack were talking in such hushed tones if she was just asking him about extra baggage. Looking around the cabin though you can see no table, and indeed no ink to write with. Stepping out the door, book clasped under your arm you can see that Port Jacob is already getting further and further into the distance, and the ocean continues outstretching. Walking along the deck you spot Anamaria doing something on the rigging so you go over to her. Looking up from the deck you could mistake her for a man if you didn't know better. She looked incredibly strong, and whatever it was she was doing she was doing it with great skill and knowledge.

"Ana?" you call up to her, and step back when she climbs down onto the deck, standing in front of you.

"What's up?" she asks, eyeing your dress with a smile. "Looks pretty by the way." She adds, slightly more awkwardly. She was not a feminine woman that was for sure, but she still appreciated the beauty of clothes, and if anyone questioned that, then she would slap them upside the face with a hard smack.

"Thanks." You say casually swaying, listening to the sound of the skirt and the few petticoats underneath rustle gently. "I was just wondering if there was any ink about, I err... need to write something." You didn't particularly want to mention that it was a diary entry you wished to make, as you know what would have come from that, questions and a sly smirk as she prodded you for details.

"Well Jack's got ink in his cabin, but that's all I think. Not many people here can write, so they have no use for the stuff."

"Oh, ok, do you think he would mind if I went and wrote in there?"

"I would go ask him if I were you, he can be very possessive over his personal space at times, and ye don't want to be getting on the wrong side of him just a day into the journey, however much you're paying.' You nod appreciatively and go to the helm where Jack stands, staring out into the horizon unblinking.

"Jack?" you inquire cautiously, frightened that he might be in some kind of daze, and will be angry if you awake him. He looks to you quickly then turns back to the ocean in front of him, smiling and nodding, as if to say continue. "I was wondering if I may have the use of your ink and quills in your cabin, I have some things I need to write down, and Anamaria has informed me that you are the only one here in the ownership of such utensils." You see a small grin forming on Jack's lips, flashing a few gold-capped teeth.

"Aye, aye. Use it whenever ye please, I rarely use it meself. Knock first before ye come in, unless ye want to catch me in the nude, which I wouldn't blame ye for if ye did."

"Ok, thank you Jack." you say quickly before your cheeks turn a bright red. Jack waves you away and you laugh at his apparent nonchalance. Heading towards his cabin you find yourself feeling quite at home as you step through the door, the familiar swashes of gold, cream and magenta, and the beautiful mahogany wood. The large bed where you had reclined for the week before sits sheets neatly pulled up. Another small chuckle escapes as you think about Jack's tidiness, and remember his disdain for being dirty. Sitting down at the table where you had been but a day ago, you open up the diary at a new page and begin to write once more:

'Dearest Emily, I am back on the Pearl again! I may have only been away for a night, but I missed it in that short amount of time! I am so glad to be back here, I feel welcomed and wanted, and I finally feel like I have a home here. As I have told you before, Jack expects the journey to England to take a week or so, hoping that the weather shall hold out. He seems to sense a storm of some sorts on the horizon, but when I look out there is nothing but blue sky, and a bright sun, high in the sky.

Oh Emily I am to be singing again tonight! There is to be a party onboard, and Jack has requested that I provide the entertainment by singing; I have to admit, I am rather nervous. The last time I sang in front of people was in the brothel in Port Royale, and then the audience weren't really paying too much attention to me, they were too busy paying the whores and harlots. I do enjoy singing, but I am unsure of how the crew shall react, I don't even know what I am going to sing! I...'

Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted by a loud crash from the hold, and Anamaria bursting through the door, a large grin on her face.

"Come on!" she cries walking over to you and grabbing your wrist, pulling you from your seated position. She drags you out the door, and you stumble after her, forgetting about the diary left out on the table, wondering what on earth was going on!

"The party's started!" she exclaims as she pulls you into the hold, which has been decked moderately with some coloured sheets and pieces of paper. The barrels and boxes, which would usually be stored here were all pushed to the sides, the rum barrels having the easiest access.

"What was the crash?" You gasp, out of breath, scouring the room to see if something is broken. Finally your gaze rests upon a large piano, and you exclaim in surprise. "Oh! Where did that come from?" you ask, walking steadily over to it, running your hand along the smooth wooden surface. You sit down on a cushioned seat behind it, and lift the cover, playing the keys gently.

"Has been here for ages, no one ever really bothered with it, but we thought ye might be able to play it, so we brought it out, rather carelessly might I add..." she finishes the sentence glaring in the direction of a couple of crewmembers who were meekly trying to make their way back on deck, undoubtedly fearing her wrath. "Can ye play?"

"Ye-es..." you say cautiously, playing a small tune.

"Good! Then the party shall be started." You jump as the voice that had just spoken did not belong to Anamaria, but to Jack who had come to stand next to the piano.

"We have set the anchor for a little while, I wish to admire your beautiful voice rather than be on the helm, and I am sure the rest of the crew would appreciate it too." He continues, placing a hand on your shoulder. He calls for the crew and within a few moments they have all gathered and are looking at you, waiting for you to play. "So, without further ado, let the rum flow, and the lady play!" he calls, to which he receives an uproar of cheers. "Take it away luv!" With that he pats you on the shoulder, and you are left sitting there wondering what to play. You decide upon the first thing that comes to mind, not wanting to keep the crew waiting, and start playing the first few notes to an old sea shanty. The crew's eyes, including Jack's do not leave you, and as you start to sing all faces break into a grin as they recognise the lyrics to Rolling Home:

'Call all hands to man the capstan

With kind welcomes everywhere.'

You can't help but grin as you sing, all the crew joining in, swaying merrily in time with the music. You see a glint in Jack's eye and feel incredibly warmed by it; he seems pleased, maybe even proud. The evening wears on and rum flows steadily. You do not take a break from your singing and playing, you do not feel like you need to, the sight of all the crew dancing about merrily, Anamaria actually accepting propositions to dance although never too close, was a great reward, and you felt incredibly happy in yourself. As you sing and play you do not notice the Captain make his way up onto the deck. Jack heads towards his cabin, sighing heavily at the thought of you. Seeing you tonight looking so happy made him feel contented, and now his mind was starting to fill with thoughts of you. He had also longed for the kiss the previous night, and had also been disappointed when Rosa had interrupted, but he was rarely one to show those kinds of emotions, especially about a woman. He runs his hand down his face, stroking the two braids advancing from his chin. He spots the book on the table and walks over picking it up, flicking back to the front pages.

'Way haul away

The packet is a-rollin''

You finish singing Haul Away Joe, looking out eagerly across the crowd. Hours have passed and you are feeling rather hot and flushed, so you decide to head out onto the deck. Leaning against the ships railing you welcome the cool embrace of the breeze as it flows over your body. The evening had been a great success, everyone had laughed and sung along, and you had received much applause after every song and shanty. You slowly walk around the deck, breathing in the cool salty sea air, feeling contented. As you pass Jacks quarters you see a light inside, and remember that he had disappeared towards the end of the party. You decide not to disturb him though, and are about to walk on when an almighty cry comes from the cabin.

"Insufferable, intolerable, incorrigible, vile, disgusting wretch am I?!" you stop suddenly, recognising the words as those from your first diary entry. Your diary! You had left it there in Jacks cabin, completely forgetting about it all evening, he must have found it and started reading it! You burst through the door and you see Jack standing in the middle of the room, the book gripped tightly in his hand. "What's this then eh? Am I really that foul to you, eh?" he says venomously, looking at you with pure anger and disgust written all over his face.

"I... Jack... I didn't mean it, well I did at the time, but I don't mean it anymore, I don't believe it..." you begin, trying in vain to explain yourself.

"After I have bloody looked after you, gone out of my way to help you, bloody slept on the floor for you, you think that I am like this?!" he yells, and you find yourself trembling as you step towards him, trying to take the book from his hands.

"You weren't supposed to read it, its private!" you exclaim, fighting to get the book from his grasp. He flings the book aside, and you watch as it hits the bed, sitting on the neat sheets. You look back to Jack, and flinch when you see something which seems to resemble a tear forming in his eye. He blinks it away and stares at you furiously; all you can do is look back at him. "It was private Jack, they were my feelings, you had no right..." you begin frustrated. You wish you could make him understand, make him see that you no longer felt this way, but you don't know how.

"I had no right? For Christ's sake, the bloody thing was in my cabin, on my table, on my ship! I didn't know what it was, if it was all that private you should have kept it hidden!"

"I do! But Anamaria came in earlier when I was writing and she dragged me away before I had a chance to remove it! Then there was the party and I just forgot!" you exclaim. You are getting kind of scared now, Jack's glare is persistent, and it is making you feel very small indeed. "Jack there is nothing I can say except I'm sorry, if you want more than that then you're going to be hard pushed to find it!" you continue, your voice now rising angrily. You can't say anything to him, he has your previous words firmly fixated in his mind, and he seems to be clinging to them. You turn to leave but he grabs your wrists tightly.

"Don't turn away from me..." he hisses angrily, whipping you round to face him, making the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. Now you really are getting scared, you never thought he was the kind of man to hurt a woman, but the anger in his eyes seems to be suggesting otherwise.

"Jack let me go..." you whimper, trying to pull out of his grasp. You seem to be fighting for control over your own arms, as he grasps your wrists tightly. You are trying to pull away from him but his hold on you never weakens, so relenting you stand there, staring at him coldly. What occurs next is so unexpected and happens so fast that it takes you a moment to react.

He pulls you into him, placing his lips firmly on your own, kissing you hungrily. All his rage seems to have changed to a fiery passion, and finally you find the moment when you can no longer restrain your own lust and desire. His kisses are deep and filled with the same lust you feel surging through your body, like a hot intoxicating liquid pulsing through your veins, making your heart beat profoundly in your chest. His tongue slides eagerly into your mouth, and his hands move quickly to your waist, pulling you even closer. You accept his kisses readily, returning them with all the desire that burns inside of you. You bring your arms around his neck, entwining your fingers into his thick hair, as he lifts you, sitting you down on the nearby table where you had previously been writing, and you wrap your legs around his body, wanting to pull him even closer. The sensation of his touch through your dress is indescribable, and as his hands swiftly move to the bare skin of your shoulders you can't help a small shiver of delight. He starts kissing your throat and you moan quietly, feeling his lips against your skin, his hands all over your body, you can feel by the way his body is pushing into yours that he wants you, but as he fumbles with the clasps on the back of your dress you pull away, gasping and blinking tears from your eyes. He stares at you blankly, eyes wide with surprise, his breathing also heavy and wavering.

"I can't do this." You whisper, shaking your head as a tear rolls silently down your cheek. No one had made you feel like this in a long time, if ever, even the passion you had felt for Jonathan seemed like nothing compared to this. Jack just stands there, staring at you unblinking. How you wish you could say something now, something to make him understand, but all words seem to be lost. Pushing yourself off of the table, not caring that you knocked several items off on the way, you push past Jack, grabbing the diary from the bed where it lay. Practically running out of the cabin you barely notice the way the wind has picked up, cold and hard as it hits you, a wind which would have usually stung your face and brought tears to your eyes. The tears were already there though, and as you reach your cabin they take the form of heaving sobs, resounding through your body. You slump to the floor as the door slams shut, and you sit there, your knees and the worn diary clasped tightly to your chest.

You sit there for what feels like hours, and eventually as the tears run out, climb into your hammock. Anamaria comes in not long after that and asks you where you have been, but you do not reply and close your eyes, hoping that she will think you are asleep. Although you have a blanket wrapped round you and you are still fully clothed in the dress you are shivering, but you know that this trembling is for a different reason. You had hurt Jack with your words before, and then lead him on and hurt him again; you must be some kind of evil person to do that surely? You couldn't help it though, you couldn't let Jack carry on, as much as you wanted it, and you really, really did, you couldn't let it happen, not yet, not until you were sure exactly what was going on in your heart and in your head. Images of Jonathan sweep through your mind, but they are quickly pushed aside by the picture of Jack's hurt expression.

You close your eyes tighter, trying to remove the images from your mind, wanting to be enveloped by a dreamless sleep, but as you do so you can still feel the sensation of Jack's lips against yours, against your throat, kissing you so softly yet with so much desire. You can still feel the way his fingers had caressed your sides, the way he had gently yet firmly picked you up from the floor, literally taking you off your feet. Licking your lips, savouring the taste of him, one last tear manages to trickle its way down your face. You can hear Anamaria's soft steady breathing now coming from the hammock nearby, and you wish that you could be enveloped by the same peaceful slumber that had taken over her.

* * * * *

CHAPTER 10

You still lie in your hammock, and it seems to be nearing midday. You had hardly slept all night, and your eyes were feeling ever so heavy, yet they were refusing to close. Anamaria had cheerily got up, obviously still happy from the party, and had indeed tried to rouse you.

"Wake up, tis morning!" she had called, shaking you gently. You shrugged her hand off of your shoulder and turned away from her. She scowled, confused at your detrimental attitude, but she had not pressed it any further, muttering something about you not being much of a morning person as she left the cabin. You had lain there staring at the ceiling, just as you had done for most of the night, and you felt the ships light rocking motion turn to a larger more abrupt lurch, signalling that you had set sail once more. You could hear all the voices of all the crew, and you strained your ears to find Jacks voice, but to no avail. Now that it was midday you know that you shan't be remaining in solitude for much longer, as you know that Anamaria will have guessed something is wrong as you do not plan on going to lunch, and you had also missed breakfast.

You let out a sigh in lament, groaning as you feel your stomach and throat become tight as you think of the nights events. It had all gone so well, the party had been a great success, you had been happy, Jack had been happy, everyone had been happy, and then everything seemed to have been turned on its head. Thinking about the diary you let out a slight chuckle at the irony of it all. How you wish you could write in your diary now, you feel as though you are going to explode, but the only way you can do that is to go to Jacks cabin, and that is certainly something you are not prepared to do. You shut your eyes tight as you hear the cabin door open, and try to keep them closed as someone shakes you vigorously.

"For Christ's sake, I know you can't be asleep now, what is going on with you, why aren't you getting up?" Anamaria says, and you know that there is no way you are going to get out of this. You groan and open your eyes, looking directly into hers. She seems quite worried, and maybe a little pissed off, but at the moment you really don't care, why stop at upsetting Jack, you might as well upset the whole frickin' crew!

"Ask Jack." You say finally through clenched teeth, and watch as Anamaria steps back startled.

"Why the hell would I ask Jack when I can ask you?" she implores, hands on her hips, a stern look upon her face.

"Coz he knows just as well as I do, but I am not going to tell." You laugh inwardly at your own childish statement, but Anamaria shows no sign of backing down.

"Why? What have you done? He's been in a bloody bad mood this morning too skulking around on deck, he's barely spoken to anyone, just like you, except you've just skulked in here…" you wince at her mention of Jacks anguish, but still remain silent. "Well if you're not going to give me answers I'll get them from him!" she says finally after waiting a few minutes for you to speak. You close your eyes again tightly and listen to the door slam as she leaves the cabin huffing.

Jack sits in his cabin in a chair, feet propped up on the table. He had not slept at all last night, and now he was in the worst mood you could possibly imagine. He sits staring at his hands intently, picking at a ragged nail, glaring at it fiercely. A sour expression comes across his face as he recalls last nights events. He recalls how he wanted you so badly, and feels the ache inside his heart grow stronger as he remembers the fear in your eyes. How that had hurt him you could never know, it had hurt him more than your words in the diary, for at least they were in the past, but the fear that had made a fleeting appearance across your face as he had looked at you, holding your wrists, had caused a searing pain he wasn't likely to forget. That was when he had kissed you, surprising himself at the time, but the biggest shock had come when you had returned his advances.

Running a finger across his lips Jack recalls the way you had eagerly kissed him back, an action which had made the desire he had held for you burst into an inferno, one that had taken hold of him with full force. When you had pulled away from him he hadn't known what to think, had he done something wrong? One minute you were greedily accepting his advances, returning them with just as much vigour, but the next you run away, tears falling from your eyes. He had just stood there then, eyes still staring at the spot where you had been. Picking up the papers from the floor, only to fling them across the room again in an anguished temper he had felt like yelling at the top of his voice, shouting curses and insults, but above all he felt like just shouting your name.

At this point he had taken a step towards his door, fully ready to storm round to your cabin and confront you, but at this point tears had actually started to sting his eyes, causing him to step away, wiping them fiercely from his face. As he had sat on the bed he had whispered not shouted your name, wishing that you could hear, wishing that you would come back. He felt so confused, it was rare for a woman to refuse his charm, and even more so after he had actually started the physical motions of it, rather than just the sweet talk. This had felt different though, he hadn't felt like he wanted to just screw you, like he had when he had charmed the women back at the Ports, there was something different about it. Now lying on the bed, he felt as though he would be satisfied to just hold you, just lie with you as you fall asleep. He remembered lying on the floor of the cabin, listening to your soft breathing as you had slept in his bed not so long ago, occasionally muttering obscure words he couldn't understand, yet these words had felt so comforting. He sits in the chair now, still glaring at his own hand, and only looks up as someone storms through the door of his cabin.

"Jack Sparrow I demand to know what the heck is going on!" Anamaria says furiously, glaring at him intensely. He looks away; this is not something he wants to be dealing with now. Looking absently at a painting on the wall he replies.

"What do you want?" he asks wearily, still not facing the woman who is towering over him, looking down at him through slitted eyes.

"What do I want? I want to know what the hell is going on! You're bloody just sitting here whilst the rest of us run about like madmen outside trying to get everything done, poor Gibbs has been at the helm for god knows how long, and there is a woman lying in a hammock in my cabin refusing to bloody speak! I think it is I that should be asking the bloody questions! What have you done to her?"

"What have I done to her?!" he repeats angrily, now standing up and facing Anamaria.

"Yes, what in blazes have you done?! That woman has been lying there all night and all day trembling. I could hear her sobbing in the night but she wont talk to me!"

Jack feels a small pang of guilt at the thought of your turmoil, but this quickly subsides as he concludes he has done nothing wrong. "Well what makes you think I'm going to talk about it?" he asks, staring at Anamaria, then wincing as he sees a small smirk pull at her lips, realising what he's said.

"So something has happened!" She says gleefully, her eyes bright with wonder. "So tell me Captain, what exactly is this incident that has got you both into such bloody bad moods?" Jack shrugs at first, but finally gives in to her unrelenting stare, telling her everything that had happened. She listens intently, sitting down on the bed watching him as he paces around the room, waving his hands about trying to express the emotions that he is feeling with as much vigour as he can, though he doesn't believe this to be possible.

"...and now I just don't know what to do." Jack finishes confiding. Anamaria nods, taking in all that has been said.

"Well it seems to me that apologies are in order." Anamaria says after thinking for a few moments. "Maybe you should just apologise?"

"Apologise? Why should I apologise? It was she who led me on, it is she who should be apologising to me!" he says incredulously, not being able to comprehend Anamaria's words.

"I know Jack, but you've got to look at it from her point of view." She sighs wearily.

"She's on a ship, your ship as you pointed out, and she is feeling vulnerable. She quite obviously feels something for you, otherwise she would have never returned your advances, but she just seems a bit confused and scared by it all."

"Do you not think I'm confused, do you not think I'm scared?"

"Oh Jack, why should you be? This situation is nothing new to you, I know you Jack, you're the infamous Captain Sparrow, charmer and seducer extraordinaire!"

"I am scared Ana, believe me I am. She makes me feel, she makes me feel something more than lust, something I can't describe…"

Anamaria stares at her Captain shocked, surely not, surely this couldn't be… could it? "You love her!" she whispers, and is not surprised by Jack's reaction of turning around quickly, staring at her unblinking. "I can't believe it! Captain Jack Sparrow is in love!"

"Ana I am not in love! I don't fall in love! This girl, woman, she's just… she's just a passing fancy, just like the others, that's all it is." He says with great force, trying to believe the words himself. Surely he couldn't be in love, could he? You had hit him deeply, but he had just figured that that was your beauty, but thinking about it, your beauty was not what drew him to you. It was the smallest things that set Jack's heart alight about you; the way your laugh sounded like a bubbling spring, music to his ears, the way you got the slightest of dimples in your cheeks when you smiled. As he thinks of those small insignificant mannerisms his heart starts to beat faster, and realization dawns. Snapping out of his reverie he looks to Anamaria and sees a small smile pulling at her lips. He shakes his head, running his hand down his face, trying to make heads or tails of the matter.

Anamaria takes this as her signal to leave, her work done. She feels satisfied now that she knows what is going on, and now she knows that Jack is going to do something about it. What that something is, is unfathomable, but he will do something, she's sure of it.

* * * *

Hands grasp your waist tightly, pulling you into his body. Jack kisses you and you do nothing to stop him as you make your way over to the bed. Never letting go of you for a moment he lays down with you, kissing you tenderly, hands exploring each others bodies eagerly… you awake with a jump, disappointed that your dream had come to an end. Looking around the room you see that the light has started to fade, signalling the looming night. After lying in the hammock all day you were feeling rather uncomfortable, and you decide to venture outside. Jumping carefully out of the hammock, you listen intently before stepping out the door, but as you hear no noise you continue. As you step out onto the deck the wind is indeed very cold, but in a way quite welcoming and refreshing. You walk around towards the helm, running your hand along the wood of the railing, hoping that you wont come across Jack. You breathe a slight sigh of relief as you spot Gibbs at the wheel not Jack, and you make your way to the front of the ship, leaning against the railing, letting the wind whip through your already tousled hair.

You look out across the ocean, it seems quite calm, and only the motion of the ship rocking slowly gives away the rolling waves. The sun is starting to set, sinking down, seemingly being enveloped by the ocean itself. You see a few seagulls, wheeling their way around the sky, cawing out loudly, and as you look you remember a song that you wrote at the saddest point of your life so far. You had written it as Jonathan lay dying, and thinking about it you feel as though the same emotions have come back to you, ripping through every fibre of your being as they had then. You do not cry out though, you do not even flinch; you just sing the words you had memorized by heart, letting them slip quietly into the wind to be carried across the sea.

There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us

Who waits forever anyway? (AN1)

Finishing the song you feel tears building up inside you, which you have to say is quite surprising as you thought you had cried them all. You're unsure of your sadness though, as originally the song had been written for Jonathan, but now all you could think about was Jack. Was that wrong? Suddenly you feel a hand rest upon your shoulder and you turn around quickly, your breath catching in your throat as you see Jack looking at you.

"Nice song." He says quietly, and you manage to bring a small smile to your lips. He looks weary and forlorn; you've never seen him looking so down.

"I wrote it, for Jonathan." You whisper, and are surprised when Jack flinches as you mention Jonathans name. His arms hang loosely at his sides, and his expression is tired and sad. Not being able to think of anything to say although there are so many things you want to tell him, you start to walk away.

"Wait." Jack calls to you, and you turn around slowly. As you look at him your own realization seems to dawn, and you feel as though all the words that you have ever needed to hear, all the things that were needed to be said, were written in his eyes. You felt as though you had finally reached understanding, finally you knew that what you felt in your heart was clear, and whether he felt it as strongly as you did, didn't matter. Finally you had your moment, and this time nothing could spoil it.

His eyes linger on your lips for a moment before reverting his gaze back to your eyes, looking at you longingly. Your heart melts as you gaze deeply into his dark chocolaty eyes, and you find yourself moving into him, ever so slowly. He seems unsure of himself, but you take the lead and take his hand, placing it gently against your waist, all the while looking into his eyes. As you remove your hand from his he leaves it there, looking down at it briefly, as if to check what it is doing. He strokes your side gently, and reverts his gaze back to your face, flickering from your eyes to your lips. You moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue, and lean in closer. He brings his face down to yours, tilting it slightly to the side, and his other hand comes up to your cheek, outlining your jaw with his finger. As he leans in you close your eyes, breathing softly through your nostrils as his lips meet yours, caressing them softly. You bring your arms around his neck, pushing your body into his, returning the kiss. He removes his hand from your face, and places it on your waist, now holding you firmly against him. The kiss is still filled with the same lust from the night before, but now it doesn't seem so sexual, now it seems more… romantic.

A strong pair of hands grab your waist suddenly from behind, and you open your eyes quickly, not understanding how there can be four hands on your waist. In the split second it takes for you to recognize that the new pair of hands do not (funnily enough) belong to Jack, a hand is clasped firmly over your mouth, a cloth soaked in some kind of noxious liquid pressing into your face, forcing you to breath the fumes in. As you do your mind starts to become hazy, and everything becomes unfocussed. You can hear Jack's shouts, and you can see him struggling against a figure as he is ripped away from you, but after that everything fades. What seems like an eternity later you try to open your eyes hazily, but they do not seem to be responding. Your wrists are bound behind your back, and someone stands behind you, holding you firmly. The situation around you goes in and out of focus, and you can just about make out your surroundings. You are near the railings of the ship, and you can see several figures standing in front of you. Two men are holding onto Jack, and his body is slumped between them. You let out a slight moan and you see him look up instantly.

"Let go of her!" he cries, and you hear a loud smack as someone brings there clenched fist to his face. You make out his face, his eyes clenched tightly shut, and a groan escapes his lips. Blood trickles freely down his face, and you hear a hearty laugh come from some one nearby.

"Now Jack, why would we be wantin' t' do that?" the voice drawls, you cannot make out its owner as a haze comes over your eyes once more.

"She's no good to you, she doesn't do anything, she doesn't cook, she doesn't know anything about ships, she's basically useless… you have no need for her." he replies. You would normally be offended by this, but you know Jack's only saying it to save you.

"Well if we have no use for her then she might as well be dropped off somewhere." The voice continues. You feel a strong pair of hands pick you up, and just about make out Jack's yells before you fall back into unconsciousness.

"Put her down!" Jack pleads, trying to free himself from the men's grasp, only to receive a large kick in the stomach which sends him doubling over in pain. Your captor throws you over the side of the ship and you hit the water with an almighty splash, sinking down under the waves. You do not hear as Gibbs breaks free and heads towards the railings of the ship.

"Get back man or I shall shoot!" the gruff voice calls, but Gibbs ignores it, climbing over the railing and diving off into the water after you. You do not hear the gunshots sound, one scraping Gibbs leg hard, blood escaping out of it. He ignores it nevertheless and dives under the water, pulling you up and swimming as hard as he can, all the while shots ringing in his ears. He prays silently that you will live, and drags your body next to him, kicking as hard as he can.

* * * *

AN1: Ok, they were the lyrics from Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen. If they are not exactly right then lets just put it down to artistic license ok.

CHAPTERS 11-15

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