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THE SWEETEST WHISPER Author: Charli Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Pirates of the Caribbean; it all belongs to other people and not me. This is a figment of my imagination! Summary: Seduced by a fairytale, dreaming about the man behind the myths. Funny how life doesn’t always appear like that once you take off the rose tinted spectacles. One-shot. Author's Note: Well I think these are turning more into a series now then merely one shots but as long as I have readers I’ll carry on. * * * * * Slowly, shakily, you step out of the carriage onto the dusty track. The dust that had slithered around your ankles the week before has vanished now, leaving a still, calm day. It leaves no distractions, and everything seems to focus on what you now have to face. There is no gentle wind or flickering candlelight when everything had seemed gentle, romantic and mystical. That was the beauty of being so naïve and in love. But now you have learnt so much more, been shocked and exposed to so much more, and that has caused more damage than anything else you have ever experienced. This is going to be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but it has to be done. It’s the only way forward now. You nod silently, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. Just being in this same spot once again brings back old, haunting memories, even though the events were only a week ago. But after suddenly maturing over this past week, you feel as though a lifetime has passed. You look towards the house and can’t help the way your eyes flicker to the bedroom window but, fortunately, there is no light twinkling there today. Maybe he has learnt his lesson, but now it’s all too late. Once a pirate, always a pirate. And that word brings so many extras. At first you had been seduced by the whole idea. When Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain of the infamous Black Pearl, paid you more attention in one evening than anyone else had during your whole lifetime, it had felt exciting to be admired. Even before you met him, you had heard about him, knew the tales and adventures that surrounded him and you’d already grown to admire and fantasise about the man behind the fairytale. Everyone had said he was immortal, that he could run through the rain, avoiding every single raindrop and outwit any man that crossed him. Yes, you also knew he had a willing woman in every port and that he oozed charisma and an indefinable quality which made every lady fall at his feet, but when he had turned his attentions to you, all those rumours and whispers had flown straight out of your head. The stories had told you that he was a heartbreaker and that however hard a woman tried to tempt and trap him, Jack Sparrow could never stay faithful to one woman. And they had been right; time has shown you that. But when you were with him, you would forget who he was and what he did. He was enamoured with you and your whole doll-like persona, and when he came to find you on the nights he returned, it had always felt like he really cared. Silly really, but you had believed it with all your heart and that was why you married him. Foolishly thinking that the man you had fantasised about was actually in love with you and would stay with you forever. You had fought everything at first but when that crushing silence had become too much for even you, you had to get away. The only place you could escape to was your mother’s house and so that was were you ran. As soon as you got there every wall and mask seemed to collapse leaving you in an intense grief that was unbearable but through all this negativity a new woman seems to have emerged. The woman that has finally accepted what Jack Sparrow had done to her. Although, that was very easy to say when you were in the familiar surroundings of home and there was a distance between you and him, but right now your feelings are very different. Knowing that Jack is inside this house and is going to try and fight everything you have decided is making your nerves jittery and your breathing is coming fast. Well, you are assuming that Jack is here but then maybe he has already left to find some more pleasurable company and has moved on from you. You wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t here; however, as he had looked terrible when you left five days ago, wouldn’t a usual pirate go to drown their sorrows? Even though you are being sadistic that thought tugs painfully at your heartstrings. One more deep breath later and you’re walking up the short path with lowered eyes, trying to stop the images that this house brings from flashing in front of your eyes. You slip the key into the lock quietly and push the door open. You’re nervous, not sure what state Jack is going to be in, and if the truth is told, you don’t really want to find out. On the spur of the moment, you decide it would be best to just get this over with and head towards the stairs, but a flickering fire in the room to the right catches your eye, and you steal a look. Immediately, you wish you hadn’t because you see Jack collapsed in the same chair you had sat in a week ago and even though you had intended to act above everything that had happened the sight still makes you ache. He looks so pathetic, and you can’t even see his face properly. He’s facing the fire, and if he heard your arrival he’s showing no sign of acknowledging it. Slowly, gently, you creep into the room and look at him. As much as you didn’t want to talk to him, there was still a big part of you that burned for answers and seeing him slouched like that made you feel sorry for him. How did that happen? The dull ache inside you intensified as soon as you stepped foot in the house. You manage to keep your distance, your footsteps light on the wood but they still make a noise, and you don’t understand why he hasn’t responded. Eventually you draw level and it becomes clear why he hadn’t moved. Jack is asleep. A small sigh escapes your lips as you watch him and draw ever closer as though there is some inescapable force pulling you to him. The fire is crackling quietly and that makes no sense to you again. It’s not so early in the morning to mean he needs a fire for warmth and surely it would have died out if left from the night before. A small, screwed up piece of parchment catches your eye as it litters the hearth and you reach out nervously for it. Taking care not to rip it, you unravel the piece in your hands and a small whimper escapes your lips when you see what’s on it. It’s a sketch of you and Jack together on your wedding night when you are both smiling like everything is perfect in the world. He has captured the mood perfectly. The happiness is twinkling in your eyes as you’re wrapped close to him and his arm is tucked around your shoulder as you both look out into the sunset, standing together on the white sands. Simply the arms around you show how much he never intended to let you go. There was so much hope then, so much to look forward to and so much that has been ruined by one foolish night. The sketch makes tears well up in your eyes and you wipe them away silently. It is all in the past now. You eyes scan the fire and you see the torn, black remains of other pieces that he must have thrown in during the night. That is why the fire is still dancing but this time it’s burning your memories, almost showing that you have nothing left and to move on. But it’s not as simple as that. Crawling forwards softly, your gaze slides onto Jack and the way his hand is propping up his sleep head. You begin to notice things about him when you are this close and realise just how terrible he actually looks. He is leaner then usual because his clothes don’t appear to fit him as well and there are dark rings around his eyes from lack of sleep. A loud sigh of pain escapes your mouth and your heart jolts when you take a closer look at his cheeks. There are dark smudges smeared down from the kohl round his eyes. Jack has been crying. Seeing him sleeping here like this, you have never seen him look so hurt and pathetic and it rips at your heart to think that you were the reason he is like this. But that’s not true; it was his fault to begin with. You pause, maybe it wasn’t, maybe it has been your fault this whole time and you have just been blaming him for the way you have behaved. You can’t look at him when he looks like this. The feelings of guilt are just too strong to cope with and your gaze drops to his lap. There is another parchment in his lap but from this angle you can’t see what it is so you crawl forward softly, leaning over the arm of the chair. In your curiosity you don’t really notice how you have moved closer to Jack and slide the piece off his lap gently. This one makes you gasp properly as you see the picture. It is the scene from last week when you had been staring into this fire. Every emotion you had been fighting with is there, on your face and in your posture and it shows how Jack didn’t need to talk to you to see what you had been fighting against. Your name is written in an elegant script across the bottom and it causes you to bite your lip in pain. It is so beautiful and yet so sad that it hurts to look at. Jack makes an incoherent sound in his sleep and your gaze snaps to him trying to work out if he is awake and whether to wake him or not. The sense of longing that over takes you from just holding this picture in your hands in unbearable and you want to touch him and feel him just once more. Slowly, so slowly, you move in front of his knees and debate whether you should do this or not. You had missed him so badly over this last week, hating him and needing him all at the same time. It is confusing, but at the moment you have to trust your gut instincts because that’s all you have. And they say to hold him just one more time. Gently, you stand in front of him before sliding so carefully into his lap, your feet dangle over the edge of the chair as your head finds its natural place on his chest whilst your arms tie around him. The sensation is complete immediately. This is what feels right and for the moment you can almost forget what has happened until Jack moves. He shifts slightly fighting against the new weight on him, but his arms instinctively close around you. You stay very still to try and make him settle again, so you can enjoy this for just a few moments more. The safety he brings is so relaxing and comforting that it makes you feel dozy, and the sleepiness makes your eyelids feel heavy. Jack shifts again and opens his eyes blearily. Nervously you look up at him, wondering what his reaction to you is going to be, and much to your confusion he groans loudly and speaks, “Why can’t I even dream without you haunting me?” he slurs. Your eyebrows knit together at his words and you consider replying to him, but something makes you hold your tongue. He raises one hand to your cheek and runs his fingers down it gently and as you lean back from his grip his hand stays in the air. It is as though he can feel something that is not there, or is trying to make himself believe that. Jack’s eyes open again and he blinks, stretching and causing you to move around on him. You freeze wondering if he has woken up this time but sigh deeply as his eyes shut again although his breathing isn’t as deep as before. In that moment you realise what a huge mistake you have just made and shift off him quickly before any further damage is done. Your pulse is pumping quickly as you pray he didn’t realise you were there, that you were just some sleepy dream. As much as that hurts to believe it surely can only help the situation. Silently, you walk back across the room but stop when that familiar voice slurs across the room, “You came back then.” Your heart sinks and it’s difficult to place the emotion in Jack’s voice. It’s a cross between bitterness and relief. Turning to face him you say softly, “I thought you were asleep.” Jack smiles at the sound of your voice and that brief touch he had felt against him. The familiarity came flooding back to him, and the way you fitted against him made his heart pound to think that he could have lost you. He assumed that since you were back home now you would stay here with him and try to work past the difficulties. “I was,” he replies gently standing before you. “Did you miss me?” Your head lowers but you maintain eye contact. “Yes I did,” you admit carefully. “But you hurt me Jack.” “I know and I’m sorry.” He says sincerely. You nod, and a silence ensues between the two of you. Jack can’t believe that you are actually here, and you are struggling to stop yourself from asking the questions. There is also a part of you that wants to touch him so badly because the security from his body a moment ago had affected your senses. “Jack,” You whisper, breaking the silence but can’t find the words to continue. He looks up at you and understands, much to your relief. In an instant, he is beside you, two quick steps bringing him beside you. He whispers your name as he watches you carefully, watching and waiting for the next acknowledgement to carry on. You can touch him now and a quivering hand moves to his chest to test if he is really there. You have been having the same dreams and to feel the warmth radiating through him relieves you. Slowly he covers your hand with his own and pulls you close. He is so gentle as he engulfs you in his grasp, almost afraid that if he touches you too harshly, you will melt away like a wonderful dream. Your arms hook around him and bask in his presence for a moment before those burning questions start forming in your brain and tongue again. “Did you miss me?” You ask timidly. He nods stroking your hair gently with one hand, “More then you could possibly imagine, my love,” he whispers. “Don’t ever leave me like that again.” A flood of guilt rushes through you, and you stay still before Jack cups your face in his hands. Watching his chocolate coloured eyes his feelings are so clear and even though you don’t want to make it worse you have to. “Why, Jack?” You whimper. He frowns but tries to form words to explain it, “It was a mistake, a huge mistake. But when you left me for that week I couldn’t cope. The idea of you not being here drove me crazy and knowing that you would be away on our anniversary made it even worse. But I should never have done what I did. I am a fool.” Your eyes fill with tears for what feels like the hundredth time this week but they don’t seep out. “Did you enjoy her?” you ask coldly and Jack’s brow frowns. “No, of course I didn’t.” “Don’t lie to me, Jack.” You whisper but he holds your face tightly as you try to pull away. “I never lie,” He commented, his eyes flashing slightly. “Aye, I may twist the words sometimes, but I could never lie to you.” You nod silently unable to hold his intense glare. It had been a mistake to wake him like this, a mistake to even come back here. Jack gazes at you, unable to believe that you are back and are talking again, but something seems different about you and he can’t place what it is. There is almost a strength in the depths of your eyes or an unspoken message that is telling him that you have changed. “You are so beautiful,” He comments, and your eyes lift to meet his wordlessly. “How could I live without you?” So slowly his head lowers towards yours and as his lips brush against your own an unbelievable sense of longing sweeps through you. If this is going to be the last time, you may as well enjoy it. You arms seem to automatically wind around his neck, pulling him closer and fully enjoy the sensations. The hurt and betrayal again seem to pass from your conscience leaving you open for manipulation by his touch. Jack pulls away and stares longingly into your eyes as you stand forehead to forehead, and your nod is only a fraction, but he understands it. Without hesitation, you are lifted into his arms and carried up those wooden stairs, finally meeting your destination a few minutes later. * * * * Your eyes flutter open and you sigh contently. It is early; you could tell that from the pale light filtering in through the windows. There is a weight on the mattress behind you and you realise that Jack’s hand is pressed firmly against your stomach keeping you tight against him. It is as though he has no intention of ever letting go. Last night had been beautiful and had felt like a wordless release for you. Deep down it proved to you that the woman had meant nothing to him and that it was merely a foolish mistake, but it would take a long time for this situation to ever be back to the way it was before. It would always linger at the back of your mind, the trust that he had broken. How many countless arguments would that bring in future? Of course, you still love Jack. That will always be there. You know he always promised to protect you and never let any hurt come to you, but how could you trust him now, considering all that had been destroyed? He is a pirate, and maybe that was the issue that had ruined everything. Perhaps there is a reason why girls, such as yourself, don’t marry pirates. It’s because you are just too different. A different upbringing, a different class and a different outlook and as much as you had believed that you could both work past any obstacles, it hadn’t turned out that way. You turn in his grasp watching him closely but this time no tears come to your eyes at the thoughts running through your mind. The time you had spent together had been perfect but maybe it was never meant to be, maybe you were trying to fool yourself into thinking that the pirate could change everything that he knew for you. But now you knew that he couldn’t and you would just have to accept that. He will probably be madder when he finds out what you are going to do then upset. Last night was just an added bonus. A way to say goodbye. Tenderly, you place your hand on his sleeping face and lean down to ghost a kiss over his lips. You know he will think he dreamt it and maybe this whole thing will just help to soothe him. “I love you, Jack,” you whisper. “It was the perfect way to say goodbye.” THE END Author’s note: Well you could say that saga continues… please R and R, thanks. And as always merci beaucoup to Gabrielle! What would I do without you! And also to Kimmy for inspiration on the title! :D |